Wednesday morning while driving into therapy, I was feeling a bit disconnected – I woke up not being sure I wanted to show up to session and be vulnerable to how disconnected I felt – I felt a bit quiet inside like emotions were right there at the surface . . . . . Then… 3 words came to my mind and into my heart – ITS A CHOICE! I have the choice to feel the way I am feeling! I have a choice to show up just as I am, and let my therapist connect with me and connect…
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When I saw that the 31 day “WORD” for the Five Minute Friday challenge month was “silence” I just had to use the word as a part of my writing today! Breaking the Silence is what I stand for! I am a CASA for ATLANTA (Court Appointed Special Advocate). I am a court-appointed advocates for abused or neglected children in order to provide children with a safe and healthy environment in permanent homes. I AM FOR CHILD! I am the voice for the children who don’t have a voice, or anyone to stand for their voice. Not only do I…
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It has taken me a very long time to accept that I have an inner young child within me; an inner child that everyone has, only mine is stuck and has been stuck since she was 5 years old! Stuck in the old messages, stuck in the old feelings, stuck in the old fears and disconnection. Stuck in the world where “no one is safe” “nothing is safe” and “everyone lies and hurts“. This year has been a lot of accepting of that inner young child work that I have been doing in therapy, and I can finally say “I…
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This month marks 8 years that I have walked this amazing path of healing in therapy with a wonderful wisdom filled therapist. It hasn’t been an easy 8 years, but it has been a liberating life changing 8 years. 8 years ago, I drove my car up this long and winding mountain side road heading towards this place I would spend the next 8 years discovering all the parts of me I never knew before. I remember this day like it was yesterday, but never did I think I would endure a journey quite like this. This journey that I…
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When I first began my blog about 6 years ago, I was very hesitant about others seeing what I wanted to write about; what my deepest thoughts were. So I started out the blog by talking about things that were easy, like – “how much I love my boys”, “Photos of the family” “every day little thoughts”, poems, quotes, just little things that people coule relate to. As I began to feel the blog water out, I began writing from my heart! I began to write about the past and all the haunting stories that fill my soul even today.…
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I saw this quote last weekend and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since! This quote really opened my heart and my mind to so many things around me; especially looking back on this hard year I have had. The quote was this: “Our eyes are not just viewers they are also projectors that are running a 2nd story over the picture that we see in front of us all the time! Fear is writing that script, and the working title is “I will never be enough”. When I read that quote it was like something huge…
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A lot of my healing and the work I have done since I started therapy has been about connection and learning how to not let the old messages of the past get in the way of that connection. Connection has been the core of what I have learned over the years, but sometimes those old messages do creep back in and take over, and for me when that happens its really hard to get me back out of that darkness of disconnection. Since I was little, when I felt disconnected I would change my clothes a lot. I would keep…