onward . . .
Today I woke up and shook off whatever negativity that something brought on me yesterday.
Someone stepped back into my life that I wish to forget; something that caused me a lot of pain and triggers in my healing and my life at the beginning of the year, and something that my therapist and I have worked very hard on to finally over-come that put a huge dent in my healing and our work together.
I looked at it, I saw it, I took deep breaths, and I ignored it, and I moved on – that is what 8 weeks has done for me. I am stronger today than I was 8 weeks ago and I refuse to look back on this. This chapter is CLOSED and I refuse to have it open back up.
I remembered this quote that I love and that is “Storms make tree’s take deeper roots”. Whenever we are up against something hard, it makes us stronger and I truly believe that to be true.
When I woke up this morning, I completely put out of my head the trigger that I saw yesterday, and it’s something I never want to go through again, and I wont go through again.
I talked to my therapist about it today through text and kept with our promise and pack that we made recently and that is – “lean in not lean out “no disconnection” “no secrets” “we can talk about anything” “stay connected” and we will continue moving forward.
It did strike me by surprise that this person came into my life for a quick moment that has been gone out of my life for months now – whether it was a mistake or not I dont know and I dont care, but clearly I am continuing the path going forward, because what I see in front of me is more important than what is behind me, and something I wish to forget.
One thing about triggers is that, they are sneaky to work with, but you can over-come when you know what grounds you.. my support grounds me, and keeps my head on straight, looking in the direction it needs to be looked in.. and that is what I am doing today – taking deeper roots towards healing and the path I am clearly on.
July 7, 2012 at 2:21 PM
Karen, and what you have learned from triggers is that, they are only triggers and not what is going on right now.
Without even knowing you in person, your writing has changed and I see that your thought process on going forward has changed, that is a good thing. YES I agree with your promise and pack with your therapist in leaning in, staying grounded, and I like the leaning in piece. Good for you