not that way, but this way
Ever take a turn down a road and you’re just not sure if it’s the right way? Or you get this feeling of slight fear that you may get lost?
Sometimes taking the obvious way is not always the right way, and sometimes you need to push past the fear to see whats ahead.
I have learned so much in the past couple of months about taking a road unfamiliar, and yet still finding grace along the path that is filled with fear, unsureness, and sometimes wonder.
There are times I want to turn around and go back to where I know my way, but I have also learned that, it’s not always the right way to go – just stick it out a little longer to see whats there.
Sometimes we need to feel fear, and confusion, and anger, and sadness, and bitterness before we truly understand where it is that God is leading us.
I have learned that God himself has to do a lot of work in our path – the path he see’s for us sometimes gets derailed by free will, wrong choices we decide to make, and that sometimes makes his path for us seem longer to get to.
I have learned in the past month that I need to turn to God when I need help, not just thank him. I have come to really accept that God hears my prayers, and although I don’t have the answers right away; he is working hard on that path – I just need to trust and have faith in him.
As of recently I feel that God has taken a “certain situation” and has made it a clear path for me to heal. My therapist and I have worked really hard on hearing Gods voice, and it has really helped me in the harder parts beginning this path.
I was reminded “God never turns his back on us, we turn our back on him” .. “God cannot give us what we wont take”. Those are pretty powerful quotes, and words that I have come to understand; sometimes in not so easy ways.
I am truly blessed and fortunate for those who have helped me along the way in the past month and a half – my therapist especially who has truly stepped up in a way that brings more trust and faith on this path in our work.
This new road may be scary, and painful at times, and confusing and unsure, but deep inside I know it’s the right way to go even though it doesn’t seem it right now.
I have gone through a lot of different paths in my healing in the past 5+ years, and each time I go down a road I am unsure of, it’s scary, but yet somehow it ends up being the right road – this is another one of those times, but this time I am learning to lean in on God, on my support and those around me who know “it’s not that way, but this way”.