looking {forward}

I have 2 more sessions next week before there is a week and a half break from therapy, and I am actually looking forward to it.

My therapist is counseling a retreat in a program for men called “Male Survivor”. It’s a weekend of recovery for men who have been abused as children. He does this twice a year and I am honored to have a therapist who is involved in something that helps men come forward, it’s a beautiful thing.

He always comes back from these retreats with some great tools to incorporate into our work that we do, and he has told me many times that he takes the wisdom from our hard work that we do, and helps others in his work on these retreats – and that to me is so honoring – so honoring.

My therapist said something so nice to me yesterday that took me a while to actually accept to hear and take in, but he said “when I leave on these breaks, you are with me in many parts of my life, you hold a place in my life“.. and when he said that, I looked away at first, but then I smiled and accepted it! I heard it this time, and I am just as honored. We have been working together a long long time – he certainly holds a huge part in my life as well.

Years ago, small breaks in therapy would cause me to disconnect because I felt I needed to do it alone. Today however is so so so different – I embrace the breaks for myself, I need that time for myself too.

I am starting this new grueling workout routine/schedule – I will be working out 2-3 hours a day doing hiking, running, lifting weights, core programs.. I am jump starting a new physical healing routine in my life and this will take a lot of focus and hard work in the beginning! I am really looking forward to it.

I will take this week and a half break and I will also write about it in my blog.. I will stay connected to my support… I will take some down time to reflect and just continue to the healing path both physically and emotionally.

Next Monday and Tuesday in session before the break begins, my therapist and I will reflect and connect and talk about the hard work we have been through in the past couple of months, and we will also talk about what the work looks like when we both return from the break.

We will talk about connection and what that looks like, but mostly I will focus on the downtime I really need.

I will write about my daily thoughts, because writing has always been a source of my healing. I will embrace the connection all around me, and share with others. I will spend some quality time with my husband and boys in between the workouts, because time with my family is always precious as we are always busy with daily life schedules.

I am really looking forward to it – not sure about the physical pain of the new physical training I am about to endure, but as we all know, sometimes you have to feel a little pain to get to something really good out of it – thats why they call it “healing”.