healing {re}opened wounds

I have had a lot of old wounds open this year; old wounds that came to the surface that pretty much sent me into a triggered mess – but a mess that love, care and support of all those around me have helped me to move through in an empowered way.

It’s one thing to talk about old wounds, and it’s another when old wounds are right there at the surface looking right at you, and you are faced head on with them.

Today in session was filled with old tears, and tears of what is in the “now”, both met with a lot of care and support, care filled words and someone to remind me of what was then, and where I am now, and a hug to remind me of the very now, for me to accept and not push away like in the past!

When old wounds are open, it’s hard sometimes to tell the difference between the then and now. It FEELS so close to the past, but yet it has to do with what resurfaced it in the now, and it’s truly a painful thing to be in, especially with no walls to cover them – no old coping skills, but only trust and faith, and of course accepting support – something I never could do safely in the past.

In the hardness of this, I have also learned a lot about my past and why things make me feel the way they do – it’s so parallell that it’s scary sometimes.

So my therapist called me later today after our session and we had a nice talk on what was opened up today, and he reminded me “support is here for you anytime you need it” and “I am so here on your side” I am cared and loved for in these open wounds.

I also have a house filled with my wonderful husbands love, my kids never ending love, an older son who texted me sensing I was sad and going through a hard time and cheered me up and put a smile on my face, and friends who truly love and care about me.. those are all things my past never had a chance to see.

One thing that I am always told is “I cannot accept support FOR you, but I can give it TO you to accept”. so here I am, open wounds and working to heal them, while I accept love and support that is right here in front of me.

Wounds are hard to lift and look under, but it wont heal unless I see it, understand it, and care for it so it can heal. I am truly finding out how DEEP these wounds really go.. a lot deeper than I ever thought, and boy it’s painful!

My eyes are raw, and I am fresh out of tears and ready for some smiles, and today I was given many reasons to smile. I am so blessed for those who support and love me – dance with 3 sways  –  and yes I am smiling!

A quote that I love “turn your wounds into wisdom” there is so much truth in that today!