and then there was {light}

That moment when your in a place your trying to move out of, and then something clicks and you see the light; that was today for me in session.

My therapist reminded me of 3 wonderful things today: connection is the key to all and everything. I will persevere and move through this distortion that has reeked havoc in the past 2 months. The last was – to leave the mess with where it belongs (not with me).

Today I move through with such emotions and spoke my feelings out loud, I stood my ground, I stood with my therapist as he said “lets walk away from the mess and back on your path towards you”

I saw this quote last night that I fell in love with by “Brene’ Brown and that is:

Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light”.

I don’t know about you but that just about took my breathe away! of course it’s a horrible place to be and learn a lesson from, but I believe God created Light and Darkness for a reason. Sometimes we gain power in the dark, why do you think we sleep with our eyes closed? it’s so that we can shut our eyes to the world and our troubles and sleep to gain strength for the next day.

Today in session was almost as if I was shutting my eyes to the darkness. I came to realize that I have more power over this than I thought. I have the power to stand up, kick the mess aside and say “nope, I am not cleaning up this mess this time, it’s not mine to clean up”. I have the power to take the hand of the support and walk back onto my path towards me – and today I did just that.

That was the moment that I opened my eyes from the darkness I was in, and used all my strength from within to trust the process and move forward – towards me.

I had emotions today, I felt them, I honored them, I talked about them, I stayed with them, and then I opened my eyes to the light that is there for me always. I realized today that I am supported, I am connected, I just need to accept it and trust it.

A lot of people around me have said “something big is going to come out of this”.. I think that if something big were to come out of this, it would be to know that my voice is big, but it’s my voice and no one else’s. I am my own person, it’s my voice, it’s my healing, it’s my truth – all of it.