and so it begins . . .
Today was my longer session, and not only was it my longer session, but it was the last session before the week and a half break!
I have to say this break is needed. Like I said in my previous post, I truly need down-time for me sometimes!
Some don’t realize that I go to therapy 4 days a week, which 3 of those days my therapist calls me later in the day to talk, reflect on session and connect and also in between emails and texts – it’s a lot of healing, and a lot of work, a lot of movement, and when these breaks come, this is time I need to reflect in my own way – within.
Today was a good connecting session before break, and although my therapist will call later to connect and call tomorrow morning on his way out of town (a part of the great work before break) – I have to say when the 2 hour mark hit in session today, I was excited about the down-time! I was pretty much packing up my purse and things ready to hit the door.
We gave our big hugs of connection, words of inspiration and goodness, some laughter and bantering as we always do, reminders and connection, back and forth small words of assurance – and then I was out the door!
When I walked out the door to the outside, I took it in for a moment, I thought to myself “in 11 days I am going to walk back into this door to therapy, and something will be different”.. (besides the obvious of being in more pain from working my ass off in this new routine of 2-3 hours a day)
maybe the change will be in the new-found confidence from healing physically that also opens up more healing emotionally
maybe it will be in the courage to open my timeline book again and face the new chapter, honoring more of whats within
maybe it will be that I feel more connected because breaks give me some breathing room that I need to take within myself
maybe I will feel even more connected because I figured some new things out about myself that I never really knew about
maybe I will be so refreshed that I will come back with new ideas, new ways to work around things I didn’t know how to work around before
– whatever the change may be when I return from this break – the one thing that will never change will be the connection I have to my healing, to my wonderful therapist, to my therapy room that knows my story, to the things in my therapy room that represent my work, to the word Dance that sits on the white board still representing what my healing path is about – those things will never change.
The healing never ends, but the soul needs rest! No my healing work will not end just because my therapist is on a retreat, no the work doesn’t end just because I am walking into the gym 2-3 hours a day and kicking my ass! the healing work is always there, but the difference is, I need some time to myself during these breaks to reflect with myself – good moments with myself – we ALL need that sometimes.
I have some expectations on myself this week, and yet I don’t. I know where I am right now in healing and in therapy, it’s not an easy place facing some of my past on the surface, but that is where I am right now, and it will be here, break or not. Its about finding the empowerment that is the key.
What I have learned about in this journey is that, there will be hills, and there will be mountains, there will be easy paths, and rocky paths.. hard moments, easier moments, happy moments, sad moments – but all of those moments need to be honored in order to heal.
breathe . . . .
So I will write about my adventures of break – but only when I have time and want to, because this is about letting anything be.
I am so truly blessed for the connection that surrounds me – and so it begins. . . . .
August 14, 2012 at 4:07 PM
Karen! I truly love this, and it’s so true, so true. We all need downtime, and this is so good for you. I have always noticed in your writings that when you have these small breaks in life like in vacations or what-not, you always come back with a new level of healing – well that is my take anyways, and that is GOOD.
I look forward to hearing about your physical endeavors that you are taking on this week, better you than me!
many blessings Karen
August 14, 2012 at 5:08 PM
Hanna, thank you and I agree, this past summer when I went to the beach for a week it was so refreshing, and the more and more I take time for myself, the more I am enjoying the time for me….. although this time will be different, no beach, but a sweaty GYM 🙂 hahahah
August 14, 2012 at 7:10 PM
Sometimes we need that time from anything in our life, and I think you gave a clear example of that Karen, especially when you work so hard day in and day out in therapy, and not just that but your a mom and all the things outside that.
I absolutely love this, and reminds me that I need to take time for me. I look forward to hearing about your week. Gail
August 14, 2012 at 10:16 PM
Gail, thank you! it’s funny because I was thinking about you, I plan to attend a couple of masses this week too!
Thank you for your comment and yes it IS a lot of work during the week, around the clock, but I dont take it back for how far things have come, and how wonderful life is on this path of hard healing for years – the break is welcome, but I always am thankful for the healing God has given me, and this path he put me on 🙂