a shared connection

August 14, 2013Karen Courcy

WP_20130814_001I am coming up on a small week break from therapy as my therapist goes and does his “Male Survivor Weekend” and I am getting ready to move into a new house (same town, just different more private location).

Today in session my therapist and I had a beautiful, connecting, powerful, open conversation about the hard healing work in the past week, the past month, the past year, the whole ordeal last year and so on.

I did some hard work in therapy yesterday that brought that all together and that was some big work; healing work that was painful yet good and needed.

Sometimes when coming up on a break I tend to break off into my own form of disconnection. This is something I do in my life everywhere an I am learning how to get better at that.

My therapist is so creative and funny – today in our session he said “I have an idea, even though we can stay connected, how about a physical connection so that you wont lose and be reminded of the hard work we did this week, how about we both write words on a paper and we split the paper in half. I will take one side, you take the other side and we tape them back together when the week is over“.

I don’t know where he gets his idea’s from, and I chuckled a little, but it was a great idea, and we had fun doing it. We laughed and he threw paper around, and we got serious as well.

We sat together with colored pencils, and he wrote out two words that were spaced, and I wrote two words that were spaced, and we kept taking turns until we got to the end of the paper. He started first – and the words are:

Smiling Heart – meaning his heart is smiling that there was a good breakthrough in the work yesterday

Being Blessed – meaning, I am blessed for him and the support around me.

For Connection: meaning, our work together has always been about connection, connection wins and heals all.

New Trust: Finding a new kind of trust in the healing work is such a healing things moving forward onto the next part of my path.

Not-To Forget: meaning, not to forget all the hard work we have done, and the good work we still have going forward.

Holding Goodness: meaning, Goodness is a word I use a lot, goodness means, you hold onto the good, and push out the bad.

Healing Path: meaning, this is the good path, the healing path, and not to forget the path we are on together.

The photo above shows the half I have with his written name on it, and he has the other half with my name on it. He is taking it with him to Utah, and I am making sure mine is in sight everyday as a blessed reminder of all that is good in front of me.

This has been a tough year for me, and I am excited about the things to come.

– Finding a new home that fits our family better but staying in the same town of which we love.

– I begin training for CASA in September (Child Appointed Special Advocate).

– We have great new plans in therapy for the next part of this healing path that is going to really be helpful on many levels that need caring and wound closing.

So I call this post “A Shared Connection”. No matter what small break, what happens day-to-day, I always have the great connection in front of me, and someone else who always holds another side to my healing and my thoughts.

Yes at first I was chuckling a little when my therapist wanted to do this shared connection on paper, but then when we did it, there was something special happening in that room and it was beautiful.

Because this blog is about writing about my healing process and journey in therapy, I have said it many times, but I am going to say it again. I am blessed for my therapist. There is no one quite like him. God created him as a healer, and God put him in my life for a reason. God has picked many special people in my life, and in this part of my life; for all that I have been through in my life, God has a plan, and this is one plan I am so grateful for.

SO.. this week break is going to be great! I am hoping to get into the new home this weekend. I Will be busy packing and finding some time to also stop and take a breath and remind myself to not disconnect from the shared connection – because when you have connection, that is where the healing is.


  • Stigma Hurts Everyone

    August 14, 2013 at 3:25 PM

    Namaste…This is so lovely! it’s positive, encouraging and like you too will be on your own journey/vacation. You DO have a wonderful connection with your therapist…you also have a great connection here…Cheryl-Lynn

    1. KarenBeth

      August 14, 2013 at 3:53 PM

      Thank you Cheryl 🙂 that means a lot to me.

      I think this was a great reminder also that I don’t have to just work hard in therapy with my therapist.. we can have fun, laugh and be silly in the connection – towards the connection. I need to let loose more often 🙂

  • Stigma Hurts Everyone

    August 14, 2013 at 10:02 PM

    Now try to replace “need” in your response with “want”; words like need and should make choices seem less appealing. Blessings, Cheryl-Lynn

  • Gel

    August 15, 2013 at 11:19 AM

    Wow!!! you’re moving to a new home. That’s really exciting. I hope you enjoy the arranging of all your belongings. I know I love that part of moving to a new place. Though moving is a lot of work and can be stressful.

    There are so many great things in this post. I think you’d be a wonderful child advocate. I’d love to hear more about what you’ll be doing with that.

    I love the two word writing process you did with your therapist. I was moved by this one in particular:
    “For Connection: meaning, our work together has always been about connection, connection wins and heals all”.

    It just struck me that the connection between you and your therapist is probably the foundation of your healing work with him. I’m struck by this because I’ve had a few different therapists over the years. But I never felt a strong connection with them on the human level. And I didn’t stick working with them either. Even though most of them were smart and the therapy mode was pretty good for me. I don’t mean to imply that they were not good therapists. It might have been more that I wasn’t ready to connect.

    When I say “connect”, I mean having trust and liking the person in some basic way. Trust takes time to build. I know you’ve written about connection and your connection with Andy lots here. It’s finally registering how important that is as a foundation for the healing process. So thanks for writing about that.

    I’ll be thinking about you doing your move this weekend. Take care not to hurt your body with all the lifting.

    1. KarenBeth

      August 15, 2013 at 3:38 PM

      Thank you Gel… we are “hoping” to move this weekend.. that is what we were told, but it might be held off for a week, which is okay because it gives me more time to pack 🙂 but all in all we are still moving into a new house.. which is good and it will feel like a new start even though it’s only 10 minutes from the house I am in now .. something about newness is always nice!

      Thank you for your comment 🙂 Andy and I do have a GREAT connection … he is very caring and compassionate. We are very close and even connect outside therapy which is why I feel the strong connection and how that is a KEY to our work.. it will be a good week to rest from the hard work of therapy while staying in connection 🙂

      HUGS …

Please take a moment to comment! I love connecting with others!

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