continue; making my way back

As I sit here writing, putting words to this blog, it feels weird as I haven’t written in so long – – but at the same time it feels familiar. I took a backseat to my writing and many other things this past year, but the one thing I didn’t take a backseat to was my healing, and continuing to fight and put one foot in front of the other. For the past year or so, I went through emotional and physical isolation, I pushed away my writing, I pushed away people who I was once close to, I pushed away things that really defined who I was. I pushed away out of fear – – but what I have learned the most these past couple of months is, those things I pushed away and backed away from, never went away – that my writing, and those people who love and care for me are right here waiting as I continue to take steps forward and out. My therapist and I have worked so incredibly hard this past year, and […]

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new blog look – a new path ahead

It has been about 5 years since I have redone the look of my blog. I feel my writing has suffered at a standstill, and my blog has suffered in that as well. I am taking many big steps and many big changes in my healing, in my life, in my self and this change was one of the big steps in reclaiming back my voice, and my writing! My writing, blog, and myself went through some hard trials a couple years ago which pulled me away from my blog and my writing out of fear. But what the past year has really shown me, and what I have come to realize is – my writing, my blog, and the people I connect to through my writing is [ . . . . ]

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writing for me

When I first began my blog about 6 years ago, I was very hesitant about others seeing what I wanted to write about; what my deepest thoughts were. So I started out the blog by talking about things that were easy, like – “how much I love my boys”, “Photos of the family” “every day little thoughts”, poems, quotes, just little things that people coule relate to. As I began to feel the blog water out, I began writing from my heart! I began to write about the past and all the haunting stories that fill my soul even today. I began telling people my story in how I am a “adult survivor of child sexual abuse” and how living with that every day effects me. I Then began writing about my therapy and the healing process. I began writing about the truths of the every day struggles of healing, mixed in with a little bit of my faith. But the one thing I noticed, was that my blog was responded to a lot when I wrote about faith, and […]

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a little bit of change

I am in the process of doing a little change to my blog! No I am not changing the look except I am going to switch around some of the photos in the ticker above. I am going to change a little of the way I write. For the past 5 years that I have been writing this blog, I have focused most of my energy on my therapy and healing and writing mostly about my process of healing and my therapy sessions. Although I love to write about my process of healing, I also feel I am missing out on writing a lot of my everyday thoughts, feelings and processes. I am a thinker! I love to think, I love to write about my thoughts, and I love to share moments that mean a lot of me other than just healing. I am going to write about my health, my new routines in my physical health and working out. I am going to share more about my family and how they are incorporated into my healing. I am going […]

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comfort in the familiar

Sometimes you need to step back into the familiar to step forward into the unfamiliar. Sometimes you need to find comfort in the old things to have confidence stepping into new things. My blog theme is back to the one I had when I first started this blog 3 years ago, and I love its simplicity, style and grace. It makes me feel connected back to why I fell in love with writing on this blog and connecting with others. When I changed the address and the name of my blog last week to “Finding The Grace Within” I was happy but something was missing and it felt empty and sad. I found myself not wanting to write new blog posts since I moved it, and that made me sad. I even found myself not wanting to share my blog posts in therapy. Tonight as I sat with it longer I realized what it was, I missed the old simplicity of my old blog from the very beginning and how much it made it feel like home to me – so […]

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the love that surrounds me

I dont even have words to describe the awe and gratitude I have for those who surround me and those who are a part of my life today. I have had a very tough 3 days emotionally. I didn’t know why, or even how I was going to move out of it (as I have never ever felt anything like this before in my life). I have had hard times before, and I have felt depressed on and off like situational depression to certain situations, but it was nothing like these past 3-4 days have been – this was hard stuff. Tonight as I sit here, I feel warm and loved. I feel relieved that my therapist and I sat with this hardness today and came to an understanding of where it came from. I sit here tonight and I am blessed that all day today I got texts and facebook messages from those close to me asking me how I was, and giving me hugs, prayers and good wishes – ALL of which were answered for me. For the past 72 […]

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