therapy helped me find my true self

When I began therapy almost 10 years ago, I was scared! I was vulnerable, I was unsure of what the process would be. I was afraid to let someone else into the part of my life I had locked up deep within for a very long time. But I took that step 10 years ago, and I took that step because it was something I needed to do for me – for that scared locked up little girl inside that never had a voice to speak without consequences. I was told by “other people of my past” that going to therapy wasn’t going to help – that all therapy was about was paying someone to listen to my problems, and that talking about my past would be digging myself a hole I would never be able to get out of. I was even told that I would be abandoned in the process, and if I took this step, no one would be there for me if I came back. I was told that once I took that step into therapy, […]

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learning to “heal” my inner child

“Your wounded inner child will never be healed by something from the outside but only by yourself, your own power and wisdom” I have struggled for many years to even accept that I had an inner child. I struggled with the thought that the little girl I was still remains struck inside of me – wanting to be healed, loved and connected to. I feared that if I accepted that part of me, that it would mean I was mentally ill, or I would be more damaged than I thought I would. I was afraid that I would be looked at weird by even mentioning “my inner child”. It was a while back ago in therapy that my therapist shared with me that even he has an inner child – we all have an inner child. For some people their inner child is stuck in place – wounded – scared – filled with old messages that never allows the adult to grow in certain ways. I have accepted and come to really embrace the inner child within – to learn […]

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the cure to healing is pain

Last weekend I was triggered by a memory/image from my past, and this trigger was one of the worst I have had in a very long time; the kind of trigger that pulls you from the now and throws you into a tailspin of fear, emotions from the past. Over time in my work in therapy I have learned that triggers and or memories are “information” not “emergencies” – that these feelings and thoughts are here to tell a story to heal, not to harm me. This trigger was a pretty big one, and its been hard to be present and connected to the now, when I feel I was thrown into my past. I have done a lot of praying around this as I haven’t felt much like myself since this trigger, and one of the things that I realized was – maybe sitting with this trigger, feeling this trigger, feeling my

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31 Days {Day 24} breaking the silence

When I saw that the 31 day “WORD” for the Five Minute Friday challenge month was “silence” I just had to use the word as a part of my writing today! Breaking the Silence is what I stand for! I am a CASA for ATLANTA (Court Appointed Special Advocate). I am a court-appointed advocates for abused or neglected children in order to provide children with a safe and healthy environment in permanent homes. I AM FOR CHILD! I am the voice for the children who don’t have a voice, or anyone to stand for their voice. Not only do I work for CASA, but I work hard in my own healing by “breaking the silence” every day by using my voice to connect and talk about the wounds that once isolated me to silence! I am all about “breaking the silence” I stand for those who tell their story against those who abused and hurt them! I stand for those who have the courage to write their story and let their vulnerable self be seen so that others out there […]

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building a firm foundation

I love this quote. I love this quote because it stands out for those who are healing from their past. I love this quote because it’s strong and stands true! This isn’t only made to be said for woman, but men also! I think about my own healing when I read this quote. It’s the same thing as “opening up a wound, and healing it closed with truth”. Each wound opened and healed, is another wound they no longer have control over. People who suffer from trauma can take the bricks that were thrown at them, and build a stronger foundation with those bricks to move forward in your own path. Each one of those bricks is the way to your healing; to wholeness in finding your true self. I got an email from someone yesterday and it has stuck with me all day today. It’s amazing how many people out there who suffer trauma from their past. It’s amazing how many people out there who are brave enough to take those bricks that were thrown at them, and build […]

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the fear of emotions

Before leaving my session today, my therapist said to me, “either you are going to write the best blog you have ever written because of today, or you won’t be able to find the words”. It was that big! He was right about both. I at first couldn’t find the words, and now, as I sit with today, it’s all coming to me in a way that I have never been more present than I am now. Today I felt emotions so big; that eventually it slowly melted away the fear I have had towards emotions for a very long time. I didn’t just cry and have tears behind a wall or that wall of fear, I truly had emotions and felt every single drop of a tear. It was the kind of tears that left me with splotchy cheeks, puffy eyes, a red nose, and a feeling of complete exhaustion! Today I cried and  felt true emotions, and also came relief that I never expected. Today was my longer session that I have on Tuesdays. On my way in, I knew […]

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gathering strength to move forward

This morning, when I woke up to get ready for church, I had a text on my phone from my support, and one of the things said, was: “I wanted to take a moment to remind you that in a place of taking a break from the flow of powerful, you are gathering more strength to move forward” I sat with that for a few moments and wow! That was pretty powerful words, and I have to admit, came at a perfect time. Last night I had an emotional conversation with my sister on the phone about the past. We really touched some hard moments. It was a sister moment that left some really intense emotional feelings – for the both of us. When I woke up this morning, I felt this heaviness – until I saw the text. It reminded me that this weekend was about “honoring how I feel, and being with those feelings; not trying to work against it. I was also reminded that I don’t always have to be so strong all the time, and that […]

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