Tuesday at Ten {TRUST}

Welcome to Tuesday at Ten! The Tuesday blog Link up where you have 6 full days to use the “prompt Word or Prompt phrase” as a part of your writing. Each week I post a prompt word or phrase and you finish the phrase and or write about the word chosen. write how that word or phrase fits you and your life or your thoughts. Whether it be just writing a story behind the word or being as creative as you wish using photos, poems, art, or graphics – whichever creative way you choose. You have 6 days to write and link up your blog at the bottom of the page so that others can link up with you. **Something new ** that we are adding to the mix, I am now going to be doing MONTHLY Give-aways for one lucky writer who is a part of the Tuesday at Ten.I will be posting the give away once a month, but in order to win, you have to contribute a write up on the word or phrase each week of […]

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31 Days {Day 23} Finding New Trust

It has taken me a very long time to accept that I have an inner young child within me; an inner child that everyone has, only mine is stuck and has been stuck since she was 5 years old! Stuck in the old messages, stuck in the old feelings, stuck in the old fears and disconnection. Stuck in the world where “no one is safe” “nothing is safe” and “everyone lies and hurts“. This year has been a lot of accepting of that inner young child work that I have been doing in therapy, and I can finally say “I do have a young inner child”. The moment I became accepting to this, it became easier to see and feel when the young part in me hears old messages and lies; those lies that stop me (the adult me) from being who I need to be. I have been working very hard to change those old messages, listen to them, hear them, be with the fear that the young inner child is feeling and working with that by replacing it […]

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that old familiar feeling

It took me a long long time to really feel comfortable in the therapy room when I started therapy 6 years ago. I remember my first steps into the therapy room and how scared I was. I sat in the leather chair with one foot out the door, and now years later, it’s a room filled with my story, and my healing; a place where I am accepted, supported, loved and heard fully. I am in that space 4 days a week with Tuesday being 2 hours, you would have to say it’s like another little home for me; home to my healing, home to a place I expose my wounds. Home to a place I also invite God to heal along side of me. Therapy for me is not just about showing up in a room being stuck with the past. Therapy is about learning, growing, getting to know myself while having someone along side of me to help me walk the path of unsureness. Therapy is about trusting another person with the scars and pain that binded me for so […]

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quieting the inner child

I struggle with the inner voice to my past everyday; the inner voice being the past beliefs of all that I was told, all that I believed, and all that I was abused into. Everyone has that little voice of reason inside of them, you know, It’s that gut feeling, or voice inside that allows us to weigh out hard decisions or choices. That inner voice that warns us that something doesn’t feel quite right, a second guess, a doubt, or a fear. Well imagine living with that every day – welcome to my life. For me, the inner voice is my past, and it keeps me from doing anything without a 2nd, 3rd or even 4th guess – TRUST WHAT? The inner voice is the child I was when I was abused. I was abused sexually from the age of 5 till I was 11, but the beliefs and the inner voice is the 9 year old, because that is the age I came to the understanding that what was happening was not right, and “hey, this is not […]

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five minute friday {friends}

Welcome to Five Minute Friday .. this week’s Five Minute Friday word hit way too close for home for me (painfully). The word is “what mama did” and I simply dont choose to write about that, so I went back and chose a 5 minute friday word from the list last year that I did not do, so today I chose {Friends} Start One of the things my therapist tells me all the time is “you have chosen wonderful people in your life“. It’s true, I have a great group of friends that I chose in my life that are safe, supporting, and understanding. Everyone of my friends that I hold in my life have a different purpose and hold something special and unique about them. My closest dearest friend is Tracy. Tracy is a truly beautiful friend inside and out. She is fun, funny, outgoing, and so fun to talk with. Tracy is a licensee professional therapist and she has a beautiful way of helping people to heal. She may not be my therapist, but she has really helped me along side of […]

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5 minute friday – community

Five minute Friday we bloggers write for five minutes flat on Fridays. We set a timer, throw caution to the winds and try to remember what it was like to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. write for 5 minutes, no back-drafting, no editing – today’s word is: community Start:  I am going to be honest, I am not much of a person to be in large amounts of community. I have always been a quiet and reserved person. I have been a loner all my life, and only chose people in my life who I felt safe around. I have learned so much about connection in therapy. It has been the base core of my healing. It’s how my therapist and I work, we are constantly in connection, and I am always reminded that connection is there for me – SO I have taken that base core of connection that I have learned to trust, and I have taken it to the outside and I learned to be in community with others – but small community. When […]

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I am choosing {what I know}

I felt strong in session today as I stood and sat with my therapist honoring my anger. I was reminded today that my anger is right, and belongs to where it belongs, and not with me. Part of working in therapy has been about building that strong foundation to stand on. A foundation where I can have all those emotions and still be strong enough to stand. I have been going through a particular hard time with a certain situation and I realized today that, when dirt is thrown at you, and you feel that you are about to throw dirt back in your anger – you will lose your own ground. I realized today that the dirt being thrown at me, only serves my foundation to be stronger. I am sitting here building my foundation – the more dirt that is thrown and I am challenged, mine gets stronger. In my anger, of course you want to pick up the dirt and throw it right back, but I am taking from my foundation; that foundation that serves a purpose […]

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rest in the {knowing}

Nothing is more comforting than just “resting in the knowing”. I was reminded of this today “rest in the knowing” – “find a soft place to land” “rest in what is true and real” “connection is all around you”. Today was a comforting day for many reasons. When I can rest in the knowing and feel completely connected – I heal. When I am walking on my path towards me, and I am allowing myself to be surrounded by those who love, care and support me and where I am – I heal. It’s no surprise that I have had a very tough rough patch – but that is now changing. It took me being in a hard place to give me more strength. it took me being in a hard place to truly see who is around me, who I can trust, and that the connection is even stronger! when I feel connected – I heal. Today I woke up and felt something new. I felt what I know, what I trust, what I have always trusted. I felt […]

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