As I sit here to write this blog writing, I am inspired by a quote written by “Rachel Held Evans” who sadly passed away from an unexpected illness last week. Her quote reads: “We live inside an unfinished story”. When I saw that quote this weekend, it resonated with me in so many ways, not only because it was written by a woman who was so faithful to her beliefs and her own story – but by how much it touches my own journey; my journey of healing. We all live inside an unfinished story; the story that God has…
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Continue Reading . . . .It has been quite a long time since I have written a blog – and what better time to bring back my writing and my blog while celebrating 12 amazing years thus far being on this healing journey in therapy. Much like the new look and feel of my blog – my healing journey in therapy has also grown in ways I never thought I could grow, and I have an amazing therapist to thank for walking along side of me, and supporting me in each vulnerable step I have taken. The photo above is the room I have spent…
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Continue Reading . . . .Its been quite a while since I have written in my blog – I am reminded of that every day when I see all those who still read my blog, and ask me “when are you going to write more about your therapy process and healing?”It warms my heart to know people out there miss reading the process of my journey. Well I have decided to take that step again and begin writing again as I continue this amazing journey of healing I am still on. It will take a while to step back into the routine of writing about…
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Continue Reading . . . .“I stopped looking for the light and decided to become the light instead.” This quote is so true to what I feel is going on inside this past month. Even as I sit here and write this blog, it feels different – there is a newness of this writing and the process of being open with where I am. Like I shared with my therapist in session last week, “this past month has been the most healing in all the years of being in therapy.” I look forward to what this new light will bring to me as I continue…
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The past couple of weeks I have been experiencing very strong, vivid dreams and memories of my past when I was a little child, and it’s been incredibly hard to sit with these memories that have come to me in my sleep. I have written before about “crying wake up’s” that I experience once in a while – dreaming and then waking up crying out of my sleep. Well, its happening again only now it’s happening along with very vivid and strong memories of my past. The moment I wake up with a dream like this, I try and grab…
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When I began therapy almost 10 years ago, I was scared! I was vulnerable, I was unsure of what the process would be. I was afraid to let someone else into the part of my life I had locked up deep within for a very long time. But I took that step 10 years ago, and I took that step because it was something I needed to do for me – for that scared locked up little girl inside that never had a voice to speak without consequences. I was told by “other people of my past” that going to…
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“Your wounded inner child will never be healed by something from the outside but only by yourself, your own power and wisdom” I have struggled for many years to even accept that I had an inner child. I struggled with the thought that the little girl I was still remains struck inside of me – wanting to be healed, loved and connected to. I feared that if I accepted that part of me, that it would mean I was mentally ill, or I would be more damaged than I thought I would. I was afraid that I would be looked…
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As I sit here writing, putting words to this blog, it feels weird as I haven’t written in so long – – but at the same time it feels familiar. I took a backseat to my writing and many other things this past year, but the one thing I didn’t take a backseat to was my healing, and continuing to fight and put one foot in front of the other. For the past year or so, I went through emotional and physical isolation, I pushed away my writing, I pushed away people who I was once close to, I pushed…
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Last weekend I was triggered by a memory/image from my past, and this trigger was one of the worst I have had in a very long time; the kind of trigger that pulls you from the now and throws you into a tailspin of fear, emotions from the past. Over time in my work in therapy I have learned that triggers and or memories are “information” not “emergencies” – that these feelings and thoughts are here to tell a story to heal, not to harm me. This trigger was a pretty big one, and its been hard to be present…