It has taken me a very long time to accept that I have an inner young child within me; an inner child that everyone has, only mine is stuck and has been stuck since she was 5 years old! Stuck in the old messages, stuck in the old feelings, stuck in the old fears and disconnection. Stuck in the world where “no one is safe” “nothing is safe” and “everyone lies and hurts“. This year has been a lot of accepting of that inner young child work that I have been doing in therapy, and I can finally say “I…
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I have been working on a small art project, or at least trying to, and I haven’t had the courage to really dig deep into it, and I think fear is holding me back. Fear of not doing it good enough, fear it wont be what I hope for! The same thing goes with my writing in the blog. I used to write all the time, almost every day in my blog, and for some reason I have just come to a complete STOP! Fear of not doing it good enough, or finding the perfect words to say! My therapist…
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This month marks 8 years that I have walked this amazing path of healing in therapy with a wonderful wisdom filled therapist. It hasn’t been an easy 8 years, but it has been a liberating life changing 8 years. 8 years ago, I drove my car up this long and winding mountain side road heading towards this place I would spend the next 8 years discovering all the parts of me I never knew before. I remember this day like it was yesterday, but never did I think I would endure a journey quite like this. This journey that I…
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I saw this quote last weekend and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since! This quote really opened my heart and my mind to so many things around me; especially looking back on this hard year I have had. The quote was this: “Our eyes are not just viewers they are also projectors that are running a 2nd story over the picture that we see in front of us all the time! Fear is writing that script, and the working title is “I will never be enough”. When I read that quote it was like something huge…
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I bought this little “cork-board” cover book on clearance the other day and I wanted to create something to capture my favorite words and feelings! I wasn’t sure how I was going to make this book into something that could be fun, healing, and a place to capture whatever it is that resonates with me in the moment. So yesterday an hour before leaving for session I got out my “box making tools” and started to create the book to my feelings. GRACE and HOPE! how appropriate for my journey, and on the inside I put a lot of great…
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What is self-care? that was a question I didn’t have an answer to just a couple of years ago. I never knew how to provide myself with self-care without the feeling of guilt attached to it. I have learned much about self-care in therapy, and my therapist is really good about guiding me towards my own self care, and I have learned (at a snail’s pace) how to accept that. I have gotten better about taking time for myself in the middle of the week, and maybe taking a day of the weekend to just take care of me, but…
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This weekend so far has been a toss between good and hard, sad and happy, empowered and maybe feeling a little weak, but I try to remind myself “I am not there yet, but I am so close“. Being stuck in place and waiting for “the switch” to happen inside is not always the easiest thing. I know what I want to feel, I know what I want to do, I know where I am going – but it’s not here yet. It can be so frustrating at times. In all the years I have been working on my healing…