Yesterday when I woke up to get ready for therapy and the day ahead I knew it was going to be a really hard day – I just knew it and felt something really big inside tugging at me! Emotions were really close to the surface from the moment I woke! Emotions scare me – – emotions make me want to run – – I hate feeling, and being with emotions; especially letting them be seen! Yes even in therapy, even after 8 1/2 years of working thru my feelings and it still is a huge struggle for me! When…
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I have been stuck in an emotional rut for the past 48 hours, and it’s been hard to move out of it. It’s not often that I get disconnected. Through the years of working in therapy I have really learned how to stay connected, even in the hardest of struggles. But then there are times when I get caught in an emotional rut and disconnection finds its way through me. The past 48 hours have been one of those times, and it’s frustrating not being able to pull out of it. It began with an anxiety attack I had in…
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Anger circled back around again Saturday later afternoon, just as the sad emotions did earlier that morning. I think when we honor our emotions in some way or form; along comes out other things that were right behind it. Anger is the emotion that I have the hardest time honoring. I have felt and honored fear, sadness, doubt, confusion, hope, joy, happiness, excitment, and wonder – but anger is the one emotion I have a hard time getting close to, or touching. When I am angry, that is the one emotion that I swallow the most. I block it out. I do whatever I can to not look…
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Yesterday in session we talked a little about this weekend and what connection looked like. We talked about what it would look like to write about something that wasn’t work, but yet very uplifting and healing in a “resting” kind of way. This morning, I woke up to an email from my therapist, with connecting thoughts, reflecting words about the great hard work this past week has been about. Words with some goodness and some thoughts about our work and going forward, and also wanting to know how my Saturday morning was. It was very uplifting – but then, sitting at my desk, I looked out the window…