friday night – sitting with a book

Lately I have been on this “Brene’ Brown” kick, by reading some of her books (again) and watching her new video on “Soul Sunday”. My therapist actually just started to watch some of her TED talks, and listening to her podcasts, and we have been incorporating some of her wisdom in our sessions together; which has been really healing and open. I love Brene’ Brown! I have been reading and watching her stuff for a long time, and the first time I saw her video “The Power of Vulnerability” on TED Talk .. I was in complete AWE! I was inspired by her wisdom around vulnerability, because I struggle with this in my healing – Vulnerability is scary, and shame is something that may as well be my middle name – both hard to hold onto, and let go of. Today I decided to go to Barnes and Noble and get her latest book “Daring Greatly”. I have read all her books, and am now just about done with this new one – yes already – until I put it down for […]

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the truth about {shame}

I was watching a video spoken by “Brene’ Brown”. She is a researcher on “vulnerability. She speaks on so many levels about shame and how that is a huge part of disconnection in our lives today. When I watched the video, I could totally relate. I understand shame. I live in shame. I live in shame to the things that were done to me, even knowing it wasn’t my fault. Being sexually abused as a child leaves a feeling on your skin that you cannot wash away – shame almost acts in the same way. Shame is something that you cannot take off your skin, or just make go away by talking about it, or hearing that you are worthy; it’s something you need to feel within. I think the work in therapy that my therapist Andy and I have been working on for so long is not taking the shame away, but allowing the “worthiness in”. Taking shame away is not the answer. You can’t just convince someone not to feel shame because they are worthy. I think the […]

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shedding the shame . . . .

This blog entry “Shedding The Shame” has taken me almost a month to write and post. I think deep inside my heart, there was this fear of revealing what it is that I deal with on a daily basis. I think I feared people seeing the vulnerability inside. Shame is a hard emotion to touch on, it’s one of the hardest feelings inside to talk about, or to understand. I recently last week received an email from a huge organization that helps abused woman and men, and I have been asked to post my blog in their magazines and website. What an honor and a great fear at the same time. Part of my healing recently has been about opening up about my story, and what it is that I go through in this healing process. Me being asked to do this honorable thing, gave me the courage to come back to this blog entry that I started a month ago after a visit back home in NH.  It has been sitting in my drafts for weeks now, behind fear. I then […]

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