the grace in letting go

It’s not easy to let go of something; especially when I feel so strongly about my convictions! It took me years of therapy and a lot of work to learn how to stand to something that is right and true when I have been wronged or hurt. I never knew how to stand up for my rights, or to anyone in my life before. I never knew how to allow myself anger when I felt anger. I never knew how to allow myself emotions when something has hurt me- and I did! Learning how to own all of these things is just as hard as letting it go. It’s learning that it’s not a step back, it’s a step forward. Learning how to let go of something once we grab a hold of it is extremely hard, because we want so much to keep standing in that empowerment – but there is a time to when you have to let go in the truth you stand by and let that be enough. Today in session I allowed myself to let […]

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handing it over to be held…

For years in therapy my therapist has always said to me before leaving sessions “just leave everything you’re holding here with me, I will hold onto it. You just go and be! Ok what? What does that even mean? Sometimes I would get so frustrated thinking, “yes that is easier said than done if you’re not holding what I am holding”. Friday before leaving my session, I went over to my therapist with a hug and said “ok, here we go, I am leaving some of it with you”; I just want a peaceful weekend filled with goodness! I want to BE, I want to feel peace inside! I want to be free! I want to have a weekend filled with grace, filled with goodness”. I handed it over through the hug – literally! I said all of this with excitement, and at one point had tears in my eyes because I wanted it that much! I wanted to know what it was like to let someone else “hold” something for me, so I could go be. I wanted to understand it and experience that. On the heels […]

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“a child of God”

 Have you ever heard a song that just touched you so much, that it helped you in times of weakness? I have one of those songs that I listen to when I need strength, and to be reminded of where I am, and what I am moving towards in this healing. That special song for me is sang by a “local” singer in Woodstock, Anna Kay Toms. She used to sing at “The Serene Bean” at open mic night a while back ago before that place closed up. (I posted a link to this song at the bottom for you to hear) This song changed me in so many ways, and even today I find myself putting the song in, and just basking in it’s goodness. This song no matter what I am feeling, just has a way to make me smile and know that I am OK. 4 years ago I walked into “The Serene Bean” in Woodstock, and the place was packed! I was one year into my therapy, and I was having a rough night that night. I […]

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