the grace in letting go

It’s not easy to let go of something; especially when I feel so strongly about my convictions! It took me years of therapy and a lot of work to learn how to stand to something that is right and true when I have been wronged or hurt. I never knew how to stand up for my rights, or to anyone in my life before. I never knew how to allow myself anger when I felt anger. I never knew how to allow myself emotions when something has hurt me- and I did! Learning how to own all of these things is just as hard as letting it go. It’s learning that it’s not a step back, it’s a step forward. Learning how to let go of something once we grab a hold of it is extremely hard, because we want so much to keep standing in that empowerment – but there is a time to when you have to let go in the truth you stand by and let that be enough. Today in session I allowed myself to let […]

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5 minute friday – goodbye

Five minute Friday we bloggers write for five minutes flat on Fridays. We set a timer, throw caution to the winds and try to remember what it was like to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. write for 5 minutes, no back-drafting, no editing – today’s word is: Goodbye   Start: When I saw the word “goodbye” the first thing I thought about was how tough it was to let go of the 5 year old child that resided inside of me. The 5 year old child that I held onto – her story, her pain, her truth, her beautiful spirit. I have held onto the 5 year old child inside of me for a long long time. I held her close because all I knew how to do was to pretect her; protect myself in holing all that truth inside of what she endured. Today I am releasing that truth. Today I am finding ways to let go more of “her” so I can see more of “me”. It’s never easy to say goodbye to something that […]

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the walls that once provided . . .

When I am dealing with too much than I can handle, I turn to old habits like building walls; emotional walls, like electric fences and barbwire’s! Those walls served a great purpose in the past. It kept people out, and kept me from leaning in. It kept people at bay from me, and kept my emotions caved in. It provided me a soft cusion, and kept me safe. It pushed even the good people away; while I survived it alone, day after day! The walls were the only thing I had my whole life. Years of therapy has helped me take down all those walls! Many many walls have been taken down, and sometimes it can be scary. I have now learned to think before building walls. My therapist always tells me “lean in” “reach out”, “connect” “you have support”. I have learned to turn to those things before building walls, but not without work and a lot of trust. When things become too much inside like it has in the past couple of weeks; like things being thrown at me left and […]

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