As I sit here to write this blog writing, I am inspired by a quote written by “Rachel Held Evans” who sadly passed away from an unexpected illness last week. Her quote reads: “We live inside an unfinished story”. When I saw that quote this weekend, it resonated with me in so many ways, not only because it was written by a woman who was so faithful to her beliefs and her own story – but by how much it touches my own journey; my journey of healing. We all live inside an unfinished story; the story that God has…
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Continue Reading . . . .It has been quite a long time since I have written a blog – and what better time to bring back my writing and my blog while celebrating 12 amazing years thus far being on this healing journey in therapy. Much like the new look and feel of my blog – my healing journey in therapy has also grown in ways I never thought I could grow, and I have an amazing therapist to thank for walking along side of me, and supporting me in each vulnerable step I have taken. The photo above is the room I have spent…
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The past couple of weeks I have been experiencing very strong, vivid dreams and memories of my past when I was a little child, and it’s been incredibly hard to sit with these memories that have come to me in my sleep. I have written before about “crying wake up’s” that I experience once in a while – dreaming and then waking up crying out of my sleep. Well, its happening again only now it’s happening along with very vivid and strong memories of my past. The moment I wake up with a dream like this, I try and grab…
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When I began therapy almost 10 years ago, I was scared! I was vulnerable, I was unsure of what the process would be. I was afraid to let someone else into the part of my life I had locked up deep within for a very long time. But I took that step 10 years ago, and I took that step because it was something I needed to do for me – for that scared locked up little girl inside that never had a voice to speak without consequences. I was told by “other people of my past” that going to…
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As I sit here writing, putting words to this blog, it feels weird as I haven’t written in so long – – but at the same time it feels familiar. I took a backseat to my writing and many other things this past year, but the one thing I didn’t take a backseat to was my healing, and continuing to fight and put one foot in front of the other. For the past year or so, I went through emotional and physical isolation, I pushed away my writing, I pushed away people who I was once close to, I pushed…
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Last weekend I was triggered by a memory/image from my past, and this trigger was one of the worst I have had in a very long time; the kind of trigger that pulls you from the now and throws you into a tailspin of fear, emotions from the past. Over time in my work in therapy I have learned that triggers and or memories are “information” not “emergencies” – that these feelings and thoughts are here to tell a story to heal, not to harm me. This trigger was a pretty big one, and its been hard to be present…
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It has been about 5 years since I have redone the look of my blog. I feel my writing has suffered at a standstill, and my blog has suffered in that as well. I am taking many big steps and many big changes in my healing, in my life, in my self and this change was one of the big steps in reclaiming back my voice, and my writing! My writing, blog, and myself went through some hard trials a couple years ago which pulled me away from my blog and my writing out of fear. But what the past…
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As I look back on this past year, it was a very hard year for me on so many levels! But it has also been one of the most connecting and self changing years on my healing journey. It began with the death of my mom last January 6th 2015, which set the stage for the beginning of a very hard year for me. I was already struggling with self isolation from many things that happened a couple of years ago, and in that hard work of trying to move out of the isolation, adding my moms death was just…