Wednesday morning while driving into therapy, I was feeling a bit disconnected – I woke up not being sure I wanted to show up to session and be vulnerable to how disconnected I felt – I felt a bit quiet inside like emotions were right there at the surface . . . . . Then… 3 words came to my mind and into my heart – ITS A CHOICE! I have the choice to feel the way I am feeling! I have a choice to show up just as I am, and let my therapist connect with me and connect…
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When I walked into therapy almost 6 years ago, never did I think it would be years and years of work and that I would be in this place 6 years later. I thought I would walk into this mystery place of healing, talk about my story, find out what was wrong with me, find a way to heal and away I go into the world where I came from – with just a little less walls and pain. Here I am, 6 years later and I am discovering more and more about how deep my wounds were or still are. I…
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Five minute Friday we bloggers write for five minutes flat on Fridays. We set a timer, throw caution to the winds and try to remember what it was like to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. write for 5 minutes, no back-drafting, no editing – today’s word is: community Start: I am going to be honest, I am not much of a person to be in large amounts of community. I have always been a quiet and reserved person. I have been a loner all my life, and only chose people in my life who I felt safe…
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Tonight I am sitting here and things are becoming clearer. I feel more connected tonight than I have in weeks. I always have believed that “connection” is what serves a great path to my healing. Today I was reminded of that connection. I was reminded that nothing has changed in this hard place I was in. Nothing has changed in the support, care or love – it’s there, I just need to accept it and have trust in it. Sometimes I need to be reminded when I get lost in the hardness. I have realized over the years in therapy…
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I am the type of person that works around “the familiar” – like routines, the way I do things are the ways that I heal, live, be and move through life. In my healing, I look for the familiar to get me from one thing to the next. I look for all the things that fill me with strength. This week has had it’s challenges of finding that familiar, and right when I thought I had it, I was pushed back yet again; leaving me with more work to do – does it ever end? (I say that with great…
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One of my favorite things to do before bed is to pick a prayer from the bible and find meaning in it that pertains to my healing, and how I can grow and move through it with more strength. Tonight, as I snuggled up in bed under the blankets, I picked up the “gather book” that I got from the church. I read from Psalms which has always been my favorite of all readings in the bible, and what I read tonight was: PSALMS 16:11 – You will show me the path to life. Fullness of joys in your presence, the delights…
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“You can talk about anything”. Those 5 words are the words that my therapist reminds me of almost on a daily basis – through connection and support. I have come to love those 5 words! I have come to accept those 5 words, I sometimes look forward to those 5 words, and better yet, I have learned to trust those 5 words. When I hear those 5 words it gives me an opening to freedom I never had. I was silenced as a child, I never thought I could open up about what was going on inside, or to talk about…
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One of the things that I have learned most in this journey of healing is that, “patience” is almost always the key to getting through the tougher moments. This past week or so, I have had a lot of ups and downs. I have had moments of strength and weakness, strength in the weakeness, weakness in the strength, and sitting while still moving. It certainly has been some of the toughest and challenging moments that I have had in a long time; with this past weekend being one of the toughest. Last night I went through one of the hardest 2 O’clock’s…