In all the years I have been writing in this blog, never have I named the subject of the post the same as the name of the blog – but today it fits! I found a new kind of hope today. Today in session my therapist said something that latched onto something deep and it gave me tears so fast that we both wondered “where did the tears come from, and what do they mean?”. and I opened up…. I opened up about something today that gave both my therapist and I “a new kind of hope” going forward on…
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I had big anger in session yesterday! I didn’t plan it, I didn’t really see it coming, but then again anger has been at the surface for a while now; it was just a matter of time before it found it’s way out to be heard, seen and felt. When I think of anger I think about holding onto a rope with a beast of some kind at the other end pulling and dragging me and not being able to get control of the rope. Anger is something I struggle with. I avoid it, swallow it, and find every way…
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When I first started this blog last year, it began in little thoughts. I started off using the “photo” to tell the story of what I was writing, and then slowly it became writing the story, and finding a photo to help tell the story. As I continued to write and be inspired by a couple of people, I noticed more and more that my voice was being heard, and my stories were longer and more authentic to how I was feeling inside. In the past 2 months I have noticed that my voice is getting stronger and stronger. My…
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Anger circled back around again Saturday later afternoon, just as the sad emotions did earlier that morning. I think when we honor our emotions in some way or form; along comes out other things that were right behind it. Anger is the emotion that I have the hardest time honoring. I have felt and honored fear, sadness, doubt, confusion, hope, joy, happiness, excitment, and wonder – but anger is the one emotion I have a hard time getting close to, or touching. When I am angry, that is the one emotion that I swallow the most. I block it out. I do whatever I can to not look…
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I wasn’t sure if I was going to write about this or not. However, I have always said, “this blog is about healing, and it’s about truth; It’s about my journey going forward”. Every entry I post is one step closer to my true self. Everyday I try and remind myself that every truth spoken, is another foothold to the next. So with that being said – I faced a difficult question that has been pressing me for a very very long time. A question that I have been utterly afraid to ask and talk about; and know the answer…
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Today was a day of awe-ness; a day where the hard work of 2 people, sat together and affirmed goodness, to the point of small tears. Today, in session, I read to my therapist the blog page I wrote last night – “My Story . My Journey”. He was one of the many people who liked the idea of me writing a small story about who I am for my blog audience to read. To read about the person behind the healing. I read it to him, and I didn’t expect to be choked up and tearful as I was reading…