Yesterday when I woke up to get ready for therapy and the day ahead I knew it was going to be a really hard day – I just knew it and felt something really big inside tugging at me! Emotions were really close to the surface from the moment I woke! Emotions scare me – – emotions make me want to run – – I hate feeling, and being with emotions; especially letting them be seen! Yes even in therapy, even after 8 1/2 years of working thru my feelings and it still is a huge struggle for me! When…
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raw and vulnerable – facing my core emotions
December 13, 2015KarenBethContinue Reading . . . .I feel like the theme of my writing has been “its been a while since I have written”, and it’s true, it has been a while since I have written, and I think it’s because when I am working so hard internally, I become detached with everything else around me. The work in therapy the past couple of weeks have been really hard but good work! My therapist keeps telling me “I am so proud of you, you are working so hard and you are on such a different path than you were just months ago” – and I believe…
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vulnerable in my sleep
November 14, 2015KarenBethContinue Reading . . . .I have woken up many times in the past week crying out of my sleep; literally crying with tears and all out of my sleep. I have written about this experience before and its something that I have gone through quite a bit in the past couple of years. This past week I have experienced this almost every other night and it has left me feeling emotionally drained! I have talked about it with Andy in therapy and he knows this has been something I have struggled with for years, but we never have put a secure understanding of why…
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the love that surrounds me
May 30, 2013KarenBethContinue Reading . . . .I dont even have words to describe the awe and gratitude I have for those who surround me and those who are a part of my life today. I have had a very tough 3 days emotionally. I didn’t know why, or even how I was going to move out of it (as I have never ever felt anything like this before in my life). I have had hard times before, and I have felt depressed on and off like situational depression to certain situations, but it was nothing like these past 3-4 days have been – this was hard…
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the powering in just being
May 26, 2013KarenBethContinue Reading . . . .I have spent a lifetime hiding behind “true emotions” and putting up walls of okay-ness. I have spent more time in my life putting on a fake front and swallowing the true emotions of how I really feel just to protect others around me. I ask myself – What am I protecting them from? that is a good question, I don’t know, I only know that however I am feeling needs to be put away because I need to be strong and how I really feel doesn’t matter. or so I thought … This past weekend I have come to…
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fearless emotions – take 2!
March 5, 2012KarenBethContinue Reading . . . .Much like Saturday morning, emotions found me when waking up – I felt frustrated and the question that played over and over in my head was “what is going on??” What is going on? I have been so strong for 2 months! I have had this over powering energy and I have been running full force into the light of my own path – what is going on!!?? Why are these emotions showing up out of nowhere? I moved through it this morning, and I also felt okay into the day. Driving to my session later on, I felt a…
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the sunspots . .
March 1, 2012KarenBethContinue Reading . . . .I have had this story in drafts for months! I have waited for the perfect time to share this part of my story. Tonight it feels right – tonight I post another part of my story. Tonight it feels right on the heels of writing something so hard last night – to now write about something so graceful. There are only 3 people in my life who know about the “sunspots” story from my childhood, and what that means to me even today as an adult. The only 3 people who truly hold this close to their heart as a…
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the fear of emotions
February 28, 2012KarenBethContinue Reading . . . .Before leaving my session today, my therapist said to me, “either you are going to write the best blog you have ever written because of today, or you won’t be able to find the words”. It was that big! He was right about both. I at first couldn’t find the words, and now, as I sit with today, it’s all coming to me in a way that I have never been more present than I am now. Today I felt emotions so big; that eventually it slowly melted away the fear I have had towards emotions for a very long time.…