learning to “heal” my inner child

“Your wounded inner child will never be healed by something from the outside but only by yourself, your own power and wisdom” I have struggled for many years to even accept that I had an inner child. I struggled with the thought that the little girl I was still remains struck inside of me – wanting to be healed, loved and connected to. I feared that if I accepted that part of me, that it would mean I was mentally ill, or I would be more damaged than I thought I would. I was afraid that I would be looked at weird by even mentioning “my inner child”. It was a while back ago in therapy that my therapist shared with me that even he has an inner child – we all have an inner child. For some people their inner child is stuck in place – wounded – scared – filled with old messages that never allows the adult to grow in certain ways. I have accepted and come to really embrace the inner child within – to learn […]

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the temporary path – the road less traveled

I have always viewed my healing journey, my healing path as a road that goes forward with a few detours on the side. There are times I am going straight on the path, and there have been times when out of no-where, I was detoured off my path – and OH how frustrating can that be! Or maybe it doesn’t have to be a frustrating struggle; rather seen and looked at as a path less traveled to heal bigger wounds. Maybe instead of seeing these struggles as detours, maybe its more of a temporary path to – where I can breathe a little; getting to understand my footpath a little better. The past week or so I have really struggled with connection and feeling grounded to self and those around me and I have felt so frustrated about it. “Why am I projecting?” “why am I struggling to be connected to those around me?” “why do I feel so disconnected?” .. I haven’t felt like this in such a long time and boy does it feel horrible! But as I […]

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projection and the battle within

Projection is something that I sometimes struggle with, and something I have really struggled with the past couple of weeks. I am learning more and more about what projection is and why I struggle with it; how projection relates to me and my work in therapy. I read a wonderful article written by Morgan Sontag called “Things are not as they appear“. She explains how Projection is a defense strategy in which you unconsciously defend yourself against unpleasant impulses or feelings by denying their existence in yourself, while attributing it to someone else. Basically in a nut-shell, projection is “blame shifting” .. not something done purposely, but it’s done when we feel so badly about ourselves that we turn how we feel thinking others feel this way about us. A great example: I walked into therapy last Monday morning and the energy in the room didn’t feel right, and immediately I began thinking my therapist was acting like his normal self,  that he didn’t want to be in connection with me, that he was mad about something, and I felt […]

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holding onto connection

A lot of my healing and the work I have done since I started therapy has been about connection and learning how to not let the old messages of the past get in the way of that connection. Connection has been the core of what I have learned over the years, but sometimes those old messages do creep back in and take over, and for me when that happens its really hard to get me back out of that darkness of disconnection. Since I was little, when I felt disconnected I would change my clothes a lot. I would keep changing my clothes over and over until the feeling went away. Today I still struggle with that. yesterday morning I got ready for session and as I was heading out the door I got this intense feeling come over me that I needed to change, and I began to not feel good about myself. I knew in that moment this was going to be a hard morning for me. I went upstairs and changed my clothes and nothing was feeling […]

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five minute friday {mess}

 Welcome to Five Minute Friday to where us bloggers are given a word prompt and write for just 5 minutes simply for the joy of writing. No editing or backtracking. No need to be perfect. Just words freely flowing from my heart to yours. Set the timer and write away! Stop at the 5 minute mark no matter where you are! Today’s Five minute Friday word is {MESS} {Start} When I saw that the Five minute Friday word was MESS, the first thing that came to my mind was a quote by a writer name Jeff Goins and that quote is: “change always happens when you come down from the clouds & deal with the messiness of life“. That is such a strong and true quote! Right now I am struggling with connection, and maybe in order to get reconnected to self and those around me, I need to dive right into the messiness of what is causing me disconnection. Maybe the answer is found in sitting right in the middle of the mess instead of trying to run from it […]

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5 minute friday – community

Five minute Friday we bloggers write for five minutes flat on Fridays. We set a timer, throw caution to the winds and try to remember what it was like to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not. write for 5 minutes, no back-drafting, no editing – today’s word is: community Start:  I am going to be honest, I am not much of a person to be in large amounts of community. I have always been a quiet and reserved person. I have been a loner all my life, and only chose people in my life who I felt safe around. I have learned so much about connection in therapy. It has been the base core of my healing. It’s how my therapist and I work, we are constantly in connection, and I am always reminded that connection is there for me – SO I have taken that base core of connection that I have learned to trust, and I have taken it to the outside and I learned to be in community with others – but small community. When […]

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rest in the {knowing}

Nothing is more comforting than just “resting in the knowing”. I was reminded of this today “rest in the knowing” – “find a soft place to land” “rest in what is true and real” “connection is all around you”. Today was a comforting day for many reasons. When I can rest in the knowing and feel completely connected – I heal. When I am walking on my path towards me, and I am allowing myself to be surrounded by those who love, care and support me and where I am – I heal. It’s no surprise that I have had a very tough rough patch – but that is now changing. It took me being in a hard place to give me more strength. it took me being in a hard place to truly see who is around me, who I can trust, and that the connection is even stronger! when I feel connected – I heal. Today I woke up and felt something new. I felt what I know, what I trust, what I have always trusted. I felt […]

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{ connection } the light to my path

Tonight I am sitting here and things are becoming clearer. I feel more connected tonight than I have in weeks. I always have believed that “connection” is what serves a great path to my healing. Today I was reminded of that connection. I was reminded that nothing has changed in this hard place I was in. Nothing has changed in the support, care or love – it’s there, I just need to accept it and have trust in it. Sometimes I need to be reminded when I get lost in the hardness. I have realized over the years in therapy that connection is the light to my path. Each step I take in my healing, lights the path to go forward. I spent a lot of my life in disconnection. Disconnection from myself and others. I was always a quiet and reserved person. I was shy and I retreated to myself a lot – until recently. I have learned in my 5 years of therapy that there is a whole world out there wanting to be connected. I learned that […]

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