practicing old messages vs. new messages

44c2414d031b8e7449fbc950ce76dcd9I am going to try something new in therapy along side of working with my anger and I think it’s going to be a very important tool going forward in working with the anger and emotions I have.

I bought a pack of index cards and some colored pencils and decided to work on a project that will help me with lies messages from my past vs new messages.

I will write down with my left hand (the child part inside) what old messages I hear from my past, and with my right hand I will write down what I believe and what i struggle with, and on the back I will find a way to write the new messages – which will take some work and healing.

Example:

What I was told: “No one will ever believe you

What I hear myself saying: “I am not heard or believed in

Replacing it with a new healthy message: “I am heard, loved and cared for no matter what I say, my voice is important”

It’s definitely something that will take some time to reverse old messages of the past, because you can write them out, but the healing part is to “BELIEVE” it.

That is where the healing work is. I can write words of hope, I can write what I wish, I can write what I want to feel, but none of those words will matter until I truly believe and accept them as they are.

Writing these messages on the index cards will be a way for me to “write the new messages” and “find belief in each one”.

I will make them into a book, and take them with me into session and each time we work with anger or emotions, I will look at each old message when I begin to have doubt and look at the new message and be in reminder that “I am worthy” “I am heard” “my emotions are welcomed“.

One of the things I struggle with the most and my therapist will completely agree with this .. I struggle with hearing old messages from the past. I am constantly having a battle between what I want to believe in myself to what I hear from the past.

My therapist calls it “the blessing and the curse” of being intuitive. He says “I wish I could just go inside your head and change all those old beliefs and push out all the lies you were told”.

More examples of that – one part of me will accept support, the other part of me will struggle with the fear of dependence. I will hear “you are too much, you are too much work for other people, no one will ever support you“.. or I will be told “Your emotions are so welcomed and so okay” and the other part of me hears “your emotions make you a bad person, you are a bad person, don’t cry, that makes you weak and unworthy”.

Welcome to my everyday battle. It’s a constant battle and it gets in the way of my healing. My thoughts are counter-intuitive.. I know the old messages are wrong, but I believe them anyways because of how drilled they were into my head as a child.

Since we are taking new steps towards working with the anger, I need to find a way to sit with the old messages and create new truth and believe in it. Because I think that if I find a way to practice self-love and belief, I will accept my anger and emotions to the point of being able to feel worthy enough of talking about them.

I am a hands on person. I have so many little projects in my therapy room. I have my healing box, I have my timeline book that my therapist and I started working on. I have the healing coloring book that we have not started yet. I have journals of good words and all kinds of things, and this is another part of what I can do that is a reminder of who I am and why I am here in this big world.

I think this is going to be my biggest challenge yet, not only to write the words and believe in them, but to use them in the “anger work” of my healing. I think its going to be crucial to allow myself to see those messages in my anger and big emotions.

Knowing me I will find a way to make them look pretty and inviting .. make them with a hole punch and put a pretty ribbon around it and find some art to put all over it … make it look safe and inviting to look at those messages and feel good about acceptance.

I think this is going to be a great step towards the big work I have laid out in front of me – I am creating the map to the NEW PATH we are about to take.

8 comments

  1. Hi Karen,
    I think that’s a great idea…I’ve been struggling so much with changing belief patterns, I guess because they’re so deeply ingrained and began so young. I think I’ll write out some old beliefs too and the new healthy phrases to replace them. I started to do this the other day, connecting aspects of my body and brain to certain old beliefs, (had no problem there!) but haven’t yet done the positive new beliefs. Guess these need some encouraging! Thanks for great post and wishing you well with it all. You are inspiring and help me to feel more hopeful and to be determined.

    1. Hi Rachel

      Thank you for your KIND KIND words :) .. I am so glad that my words are inspiring and that makes me want to work harder.

      YES give it a try .. let me know how it goes.. good for you.. I look forward to hearing about it :)

      Feel free to email me anytime

      Karen

  2. Fabulous idea Karen. I like how practical your idea is – for changing old beliefs, wrong ideas. It’s good timing too for me. My therapist suggested that I look into my automatic negative thinking. I’m seeing messages that I don’t really feel are true but that are functioning in me anyway…and they come out as negative thoughts or beliefs about myself and the world and that is very toxic to live with day in and day out.

    One thing I’m wondering is to work with my body and movement to replace the old beliefs so it’s more deeply done. So how I’m trying this is to stand and get my core alignment like my Physical therapist taught me. That makes me feel stronger in my real self. Then I open my palms upward and hold my arms out like I’m open for a hug. In my left hand I hold the thoughts that are negative and in the right hand I hold the new thoughts that seem more real and true to me. Then I gently sway from side to side – a gentle small rocking movement that is comforting. This is to feel that Welcoming of ALL that I feel. But I also release the old negative stuff. So it’s an embodiment of replacing the old with the new and true.

    This is also a time when I can let out emotions the might come up in the process.

    you are inspiring me again. Thank you.

    I really think you are doing great work.
    Sending love and gratitude……

    1. thank you GEL … that means a lot to me ..

      I like your body movement healing.. I need to try something like that as well … I can learn some good stuff from you :)

  3. Excellent idea, Karen. Those old belief patterns are like well trodden pathways. The less we tread, the more overgrown and forgotten they become

    1. Hi Cat!! YES.. they are like well trodden pathways.. good way of putting it :) …

      thank you as always for stopping by and walking this path with me

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