I do have to say it was bitter-sweet writing this piece knowing it was going to be a part of the book I have wanted to write for years.
Bitter because it was emotionally draining and hit on many emotions that felt raw and open.
Sweet because it left me feeling more empowered, more open, and the most important – more connected to self and others.
Tomorrow I go back to therapy after 5 days of being on a break. My therapist was out-of-town doing the Male Survivor retreat, and I myself took some down time to really focus and regroup myself.
As I was writing this chapter in my book over the weekend I realized how much a part of my therapy has been much like telling a story out of a book, only it wasn’t just a story, it was my life – my pain – the truth of the life covered by abuse.
6 years of therapy and everyday I show up is another chapter, but it’s not a chapter of the pain, it’s a new chapter of the healing.
As I sit here and write a book of the pain I endured and giving myself voice – I show up to therapy and write the chapters of my healing, and I realized just how amazing that is.
This past year my healing took some pretty bad hits around a situation that was going on, but the story of my healing always continued The chapters of the book in my healing continue and still continue GOOD or BAD and when I let that go and realized just how empowering that is, it helped me to push the chapters of the book of the pain I am writing.
They go hand in hand – one chapter at a time.
I have 2 books that I am writing, the book of my pain from the past, and showing up to therapy and writing the chapters of my healing as they happen.
I look forward to walking into therapy tomorrow and sharing with him what I have written thus far – being open and letting it be heard once again.
My therapist sent me an email tonight saying “tomorrow we show up open, eager and ready to reconnect” and I so look forward to that.
This was a great small break …. and I look forward to writing the next chapter both for my book and my healing.
“From Every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A Story that says “I have survived”.. turn your words into wisdom”