It’s time to stand!

Have you ever been on a journey so long that you found yourself to the point of exhaustion that you had to find a place to sit; even if it’s in the middle of the road? I guess in a way I have gone through this many times in my journey to healing; to find the real me behind my story, and behind the mystery of “why I am the way that I am”. In fact, I know that I have sat many times in this confusion and hardness; to the point of people around me telling me that I needed to get back up, because sometimes we can find ourselves more comfortable sitting and thinking, instead of standing and fighting.

I have found many comforts in sitting, and there have been many times in this journey that I have sat, sometimes for short amount of time, and sometimes for a long time.. but I am realizing that, the sitting is becoming more of an obstacle than standing and fighting! I think the sitting is allowing the hardness to manifest itself, to the point of isolation and weakness – and lets face it, if your running a race and you stop and rest, the more you rest, the longer it takes to get to the finish line.

The obstacle? I have always been afraid to know what is behind the finish line, because it’s unfamiliar to me. I think a lot of us can be afraid of what we don’t know on the other side, so of course sitting is safer and feels more comfortable – it gives us more time to think of how we are going to get to the end, and all of the “what if’s?” and “what is there?” or “how can I?!”.. I have learned that sitting is not a place of rest, but rather a place where our strength is weakened – standing and walking towards is MUCH more powerful than sitting. I think I am ready – actually I know I am ready!

I am ready to stand back up and walk again.. I may not have the strength or the courage to run, but I think standing is the first step to continue towards “the unfamiliar”. I think God has truly given me the strength to go forward again.. the question is, will I sit again? I think for the first time in this very long journey that I have been on, that I can actually say, I dont think sitting is an option for me anymore, and even saying that is a very scary thing, but I am willing to fight through it, whatever it takes to get to me in this journey.

 

1 comment

  1. So wonderful and so true. Always remember how far you have come and the progress you’ve made (and that’s just in the short time I’ve known you). While you’re facing your healing head on, make sure to remember how much you have healed already… I think it’s great motivation for the fight :)

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