having a “self” dialog

e4343742a1e94fdaf849cf3fe9ab076eEvery once in a while I get to this place where I need to sit and have a “self dialog” and those moments are emotional and powerful for me.

A “self dialog” is when I get into a quiet place and write down anywhere from 10-15 questions that I am struggling with inside.

“Self Dialog” is having a conversation with self and really getting in touch with the inner self.

I will ask myself some of the hardest questions that I don’t know the answers to, but by having this “self dialog” I am forcing myself to get in touch with these answers and stay with them until I have an answer.

I have done this only a couple of times because its emotionally draining, but the times that I have done this I have really broke through and found answers that I didn’t even think were there.

I did this last night and it ended up being so big that I had woken up with tears; like I woke something up that was there needing to be woken up.

I wrote down some of the hardest questions that I really struggle to understand, and I made myself sit with these questions until I had an answer and some of them were really hard, but it brought clarity and understanding to some of the things that I have been struggling with.

It was tearful, but rewarding to know the answers to some of the things I struggle with inside. I found some answers that I really didn’t see before and it helped me to take another step out of the isolation I feel I have been in.

Today is Thursday and my therapist and I are “RE-DOING” our T T session, our 2 hour session we normally have on Tuesdays. Tuesday didn’t turn out to be a great session s something else got in the way of what was intended for that session and we both got excited about doing a “re-do” … for me and for the worthiness of that time that is helpful for me.

Today is going to be a great day to share this self dialog with my therapist and sit with him and really share the struggles that I didn’t even know existed! I am excited about this, because it really answers a lot of the questions I struggled with about myself and where I am.

My therapist and I are really good about doing work like this. When I bring something like this in, its a connection, its a huge affirmation to where I am and where I want to put focus and where I need support.

Looking over this self dialog is also painful because I really see at what my struggled thoughts have been and that can be both sad and heart breaking that I feel the way I do about things, and then it can be rewarding because I see what needs healing.

Having a self dialog is actually a relieving of anything that is stuck inside and helps it to move other things around, and I look forward to seeing how this shifts and what it will shift and move, and how I will use this as a continued path to healing.

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2 comments

  1. That’s exciting that you are doing this. I’m doing something similar. I call it an inner counsel…or sitting at a round table with all my different parts or perspectives. I forget to do this a lot of the time but when I do it makes a huge difference.

    While reading your thoughts I found myself wondering just what what kind of questions do you ask your self and what are the answers?….but that might be too personal to write about here. Still, that is what interests me.

    How did your medical stuff go last week?

    I had some medical checks this week and more next week. But so far it’s going better than I expected.

    Love to you as always.

    1. Hi Gel,

      Thanks for reading :) … the kind of questions is about the isolation I feel I am in and why? what is hard about it, what is helpful, why do I feel badly inside about certain things? what is the hardest feeling I am dealing with inside and how can I help change that? .. those kinds of questions.

      I read this to Andy today in session.. he was amazed at the self dialog.. he asked me if he could keep the copy I brought in.. that meant a lot.

      I think having self dialog is good because it helps me to see things I sometimes put away, its a way to bring it back up to the focus.

      The weird part is, it hit something last night because I awoke crying and a part of that was seeing a part of my past in my dream! that is a good indication that something shifted and moved inside ….

      I like your round table idea.

      I just got out of my 2 hour therapy session, we redid over TT today and it was one of the best talks Andy and I have had in a long time. We really talked about everything … He really helped me to understand what it means about the “young” part being present and how we work with the young part. Maybe I will write about it sometime

      Karen (hugs)

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