five minute friday {mess}

278024_441388179215763_827778536_o Welcome to Five Minute Friday to where us bloggers are given a word prompt and write for just 5 minutes simply for the joy of writing.

No editing or backtracking. No need to be perfect. Just words freely flowing from my heart to yours. Set the timer and write away! Stop at the 5 minute mark no matter where you are!

Today’s Five minute Friday word is {MESS}

{Start}

When I saw that the Five minute Friday word was MESS, the first thing that came to my mind was a quote by a writer name Jeff Goins and that quote is:

change always happens when you come down from the clouds & deal with the messiness of life“.

That is such a strong and true quote!

Right now I am struggling with connection, and maybe in order to get reconnected to self and those around me, I need to dive right into the messiness of what is causing me disconnection.

Maybe the answer is found in sitting right in the middle of the mess instead of trying to run from it or hide from the disconnection that has found me. Maybe it’s here for a reason.

Sometimes I just want to isolate into a small ball and just wait for the storm of disconnection to pass – but maybe its not about getting small, maybe I can get big in disconnection.

When you run from a dog, it’s first instinct is to chase you because your showing fear and running from something, but if you slow down, breathe, and walk along side of the feelings that are here –  the dog is more likely to walk along side of you instead of chasing you.

I think connection is the same thing! We fight against our feelings and emotions so much that it chases us down and wears us thin to the point of “becoming” the disconnection instead of working with it and understanding it.

I think that is what the past week has been for me. I am trying so hard to NOT be disconnected that I am not paying attention to what is causing me to feel disconnected. I am allowing the disconnection to disconnect me.

So, I am going to hold this quote today and come down from the clouds of isolation and disconnection and face what is here, and why its here, and maybe instead of being chased by the dog, I can walk along side of my disconnection giving it less power over me, so that I can connect back to self and those around me who love and care for me.

Its hard when the weight of the past and the old messages tell me “you need to run and hide“… but a part of this process is about changing those messages and saying “NO, I am not going to isolate and get small, I am going to get big right in the middle of the mess!”

My therapist and I work incredibly hard on connection – connection has been the CORE of our work in therapy, and at the same time, there are times when I struggle and become disconnected, but I think if I really start to understand where the disconnection comes from, than maybe the next time this happens, I can breathe and walk through it knowing that the fight back is about being IN it, and not trying to run away or out of it.

{END}

8 comments

  1. I like that quote, too, Karen! Connecting is such a hard thing. Sometimes it ebbs & flows — dependent on so much. I used to make feeling disconnected entirely about me (that I was not being included or whatever), but I now see that circumstance, mood, season of life can cause connections to fluctuate. I just have to work to be open to it.

    Christy @ A Heartening Life
    http://www.ahearteninglife.com

    1. Wow… I never thought of it that way. I myself always feel that it must be something I am doing wrong, or I am not worthy of those around me, and when I feel not as strong, I do disconnect. Its a huge part of the past and my childhood… disconnecting was a way to survive, and today I struggle to understand that its okay to be in the disconnection, I am still loved and cared for in the disconnection.

      Thank you for your comment :) … thank you for reading :)

      Karen

  2. Hi Karen. I am your five minute friday neighbour and am glad I hopped over to your site. Immediately I just wanted to tell you that you are brave and incredibly strong and I mean this. You know what I just wanted to share that this is something I have been thinking about this week – connection. For me its a case of facing the fact that if I connect there is a place of vulnerability. I too am a survivor of emotional, verbal abuse etc and i struggled for many years with abandonment – today I am healed, The wound healed but there is still a scar that is fading. Connecting with people is hard for me often but you know what I am thankful for the journey – even typing this up is hard! But anyway! Thank you for sharing and may you be mightily blessed on this journey. Aliyah

    1. Hi Aliyah! Thank you so much for visiting my blog! I will have to sit down and look at your blog as well.. it seems we have quite a bit in common.

      YES you are so right about connection being about vulnerability! you are so right!

      I hope you stop by my blog more. I would love to connect with you.. nice to meet you from FMF!

      Karen

  3. I love this and I think we have all felt that disconnect and felt left out or excluded. I know I have… and as Christy said above, I have made it about me but I am learning that when I feel myself retreating into the disconnect, I need to look around for others who are battling the same thing… reach out… invest… don’t assume everyone should approach me (even though that is what I want!) Praying for you to press in… to give grace, to yourself and to others, and to connect with the One who is most important… and of course, praying for Community for you who will reach out and step back, making room!

    1. Hi!! Thank you for that reminder of looking around to others going through the same thing! I think I need to do that more! I think for me I never did that, I always looked to make this moment better and not look to people going through the same thing! I think for me its because I am always trying how to make something better instead of just being in the disconnection and honoring what my feelings are at the time.

      Thank you for leaning in and reading my blog.. its nice to connect with others :)

  4. This is magnificent. I am realizing this same tendency in me…to run from connection. Your post made me think of how fearful I was of dogs when I was young. My answer then was to AVOID. Seemingly, not much has changed. I appreciate your transparency here. I’m feeling kind of ‘connected’ in that I can relate. Processing together…. Thanks

    1. Hi Lisa!! thank you for stopping by my blog! Yes I was afraid of dogs when I was younger too.. I got bit in the head by a doberman pincher at 6 years old .. 32 stitches in the head.. so I think this was a good metaphor lol ..

      I hope to see you stop by my blog again …

Please take a moment to comment! I love connecting with others!