five minute friday – identity

Five minute Friday we bloggers write for five minutes flat on Fridays.

We set a timer, throw caution to the winds and try to remember what it was like to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

write for 5 minutes, no back-drafting, no editing – today’s word is: identity

Start:  When I saw this word in the five minute Friday, I felt goosebumps. I felt goosebumps because this is the reason why I write. This is the reason why I show up in therapy 4 days a week.

Being a victim of child abuse you don’t really know who you are until you seek to find what is underneath.

I spent my whole life being what I needed to be, instead of being who God intended me to be. I had to be what they wanted me to be to make it through each day.

I have spent the past 5 years finding out who Karen is “underneath it all”, each part of my healing is uncovering that. I even wrote about this in a blog writing a couple of weeks ago called {Who I am Underneath it all}

I have finally found out who I am, what I want to do, where I want to be, and who the true me is behind the walls that were built since I was 5 years old.

I think one of the most powerful parts of my healing is uncovering what I was to see who I am. I am finding that I am a person, I am a child of God, I am loved, I am supported.

I am reminded by my support that I am a wonderful person, caring and loving, gentle and kind, soft spoken and compassionate” and I am learning to see all those things that were underneath the abuse – slowly I am seeing it. It’s still hard for me to believe it, but I know it’s there.

I think a person’s identity is created by God.. he wants us to be how he see’s us, and better yet, he wants us to BELIEVE what he has created in us – we just need to find it, and embrace it.

END

4 comments

  1. You are very brave to have the courage to dig to who you are underneath it all. This labor will be well worth the freedom and hope you regain! Be blessed as you continue your journey!

  2. “I spent my whole life being what I needed to be, instead of being who God intended me to be.” I can relate to this. Only recently have I been able to actually move past that which wasn’t me in the first place and into what God wants. Wonderful FMF entry. :)

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