five minute friday {crowd}

alone in a crowd_1Welcome to five minute Friday to where us bloggers are given a word prompt and write for just 5 minutes simply for the joy of writing.

No editing or backtracking. No need to be perfect. Just words freely flowing from my heart to yours.

Today’s Five minute Friday word is {Crowd}

Start

I am sure you have heard the term “alone in a crowd”, and I can relate to that meaning so much!

I have a lot of people in my life that support and care about me! I have God, and an amazing church family. I have my family, I have my close friends and people I connect with online through my writing and connections. I have an amazing therapist who supports me on this amazing journey to healing… I am not alone, and yet sometimes I feel lost in the crowd.

With all the support I have, sometimes its hard to place myself in the arms of others, because sometimes how we feel and what we are going through are sometimes things we feel we need to be alone in.

I am slowly learning that I can lean on all those wonderful people when I am going through a hard time, or moving through trying moments in life, but sometimes I revert back to my old ways in choosing to be alone through it, and I am finding that it’s not as easy as it once was. I am coming to realize that leaning in to connect is a lot easier and healing than to lean out and get lost in the crowd.

There have been times when I have been surrounded by many wonderful people while going through a hard time, and sometimes those are the moments I feel the most alone, and I think the reason is simply because, sometimes what we are going through internally cannot be healed by the many people who are by our side, but yet more so the internal healing that we do for ourselves, an sometimes those are the moments that are needed for us to be alone in the crowd.

I have never been much of a person to be in large groups. I am a loner… I like to do things on my own, but what this healing path has really shown me in the past 7 years is, I can have that time to myself to be how I need to be, but I can also be right in the middle o the crowd around the people who surround me with love and support and its okay to accept that!

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1 comment

  1. Hello “neighbor” on FMF! :) I too am not one for large groups of people. I never used to be a loner – but I think in also dealing with PTSD, I appreciate time alone so much more. I’ve looked at some of the rest of your blog – I am sorry for your pains. Though I did not deal much with sexual abuse, I know emotional abuse – and understand that pain. I will be reading more of your blog.

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