five minute friday {comfort}

Comfort-zone-color-210x280Welcome to five minute Friday to where us bloggers are given a word prompt every Friday and write for just 5 minutes simply for the joy of writing.

Join other bloggers in this fun writing game to connect with others.

No editing or backtracking. No need to be perfect. Just words freely flowing from my heart to yours. Connect with other bloggers and share the same words of encouragement!

Today’s Five minute Friday word is {COMFORT}

START

When I saw that today’s word was “comfort” I wasn’t sure if I was going to write about how comfort has been a struggle for me in healing and in life (accepting comfort) or if I was going to write about how stepping out of the comfort provides healing, and so I think they tie together.. accepting comfort and support is stepping out of my comfort zone and has for many years which has been a true healing experience.

I will never forget a day that I was still pretty new to the church and everyone came over to give me a hug and I took 10 steps back and ran for the restroom.

I have struggled with comfort all of my life, I never knew how to allow people to come towards me and comfort me, yet I have no problem going towards and comforting. It took me a long long long time to welcome comfort into my life besides my boys and my husband.

6 years into therapy and my therapist still talks about the first day I walked up to him and gave him a quick side hug. He said it was the moment that I stepped out of my comfort zone and sought out comfort from someone who knew my story.

I remember that day, and one side hug, lead to more side hugs, lead to a hug accepted, lead to a hug of emotions and crying and accepting, which then lead me to being able to be comforted and accept hugs from everyone around me.

This was one of the biggest movements in my healing. Hugs were never safe as a child. Hugs = fake love = abuse = hitting = sexual abuse.

I never knew if a hug was for love or malicious acts done by others. I was confused and didn’t trust it and as I got older I consoled to myself. The only comfort I acquired was within myself, my own self soothing and love and writing to myself and comforting myself.

Today I can walk up to friends and hug. I can call a friend to find comfort, and sometimes I even think I long for comfort when I am having a tough time emotionally.

My therapist and I have a routine now, we hug before session, we also hug in pray and it’s safe and I accept it, and how beautiful is that movement out of my comfort zone?

People from my past who know me are sometimes shocked at my ability to reach out towards comfort now, it’s not who I used to me. I went from the woman who ran for the restroom when people tried to approach me, to ME going up to them and giving them a big hug of hello, and that is so new for me.

So today’s word is comfort, and I can use it both ways.. finding comfort and accepting comfort was stepping out of my comfort zone for 40 years and that is healing .

END

8 comments

  1. i applaud you for your honesty and courage. And I praise God for His love and faithfulness. Your story is one of sorrow and brokenness but also of new life, hope, and beauty. Thank you for sharing and breaking the silence. You are a light in the darkness and I know God will do amazing things through you and your writing. I am encouraged by you. Thank you.

    1. Jenna… thank you and your comment was touching :) thank you for stopping by my blog and the nice comment today

  2. What beautiful honesty you have shared. Your story is one that I am afraid is shared by so many that don’t have you courage to work through it and step out of their comfort zone. I pray your words of openness encourages others to seek the comfort available outside their own comfort zone. Bless you !!!

    1. Thank you Amy.. it took me a long time to come forward about my truth.. not until 6 years ago I held onto all of this …

      thank you for your nice comment :) thank you for visiting my blog

Please take a moment to comment! I love connecting with others!