feelings of bitter-sweet

I sit here Friday night and I have to say I have really enjoyed the 10 day break that I have been on and the time I took out for myself from everything – but I have also missed the routine of the busyness of life that I am used to as well.

I find myself a little sad, and yet excited at the same time that this break is coming to an end.

My therapist and I connected by phone today and I have to say it was nice to hear the supporting voice that surrounds me in my healing – but at the same time I really enjoyed this time away for me, my soul and that self reflecting time I needed – it was bitter-sweet to talk and connect today.

It was nice to share what the break has done, and also comforting to know where I am going forward in my healing when I show up next week back into my routine not only in therapy, but with a lot of things in my life.

It was nice to laugh on the phone, share some hardness, talk about the goodness, and at the same time truly understanding what is ahead for me, and what this break served for me in my healing.

I look back on this break and I have done so many great things for myself! I took on a huge workout regimen with 2 amazing trainers that kicked my butt to the point that I lost a whopping 10 pounds in just 10 days! It was a lot of sweat and tears – and I plan to train with them the rest of this year to get back into the weight lifting … I love being in the gym, and I think a part of me forgot how much I loved it!

I also took some time to relax and be . . . my lifestyle does NOT allow me to relax and be, I am always on the go! I was able to come home from working out, and just sit in my nook and cuddle with my cats and read. I was able to journal more, and read some, and even take a few cat naps between workouts.

I spent some time with my husband on lunch breaks because he works from home, and I enjoyed that little time we had. I re-organized my house, and even got caught up on some movies I DVR’d months ago.

I have mostly looked inward and really refocused on emotions that I have at the surface and faced some of those, connected with them – some I can now take into my healing without fear.

It’s bitter-sweet that break is coming to an end to where my day is filled with busyness, but the sweet part is being stronger and having a new out-look on things going forward in my healing, and in my everyday life.

I will continue to workout with my new trainers, be caught up in the busyness of my daily schedule, and show up in healing to where my path lays out before me – and I will try and continue to find the little time for myself in between it all.

Tonight for me is a bitter-sweet moment and I am truly blessed for it all, even in the hard.