I am choosing {what I know}

I felt strong in session today as I stood and sat with my therapist honoring my anger. I was reminded today that my anger is right, and belongs to where it belongs, and not with me.

Part of working in therapy has been about building that strong foundation to stand on. A foundation where I can have all those emotions and still be strong enough to stand.

I have been going through a particular hard time with a certain situation and I realized today that, when dirt is thrown at you, and you feel that you are about to throw dirt back in your anger – you will lose your own ground.

I realized today that the dirt being thrown at me, only serves my foundation to be stronger. I am sitting here building my foundation – the more dirt that is thrown and I am challenged, mine gets stronger.

In my anger, of course you want to pick up the dirt and throw it right back, but I am taking from my foundation; that foundation that serves a purpose in my healing.

I am not about to take from my ground.. my ground is solid and strong, not weak and crumbled.

This is a hard thing I am going through right now. When you feel like you have been wronged, it’s hard to not take that dirt and throw it right back.. but the empowerment is knowing what to do that with that dirt being thrown at you, not throwing it back.

I was in the tension between picking up that dirt, getting ready to throw it back with hopes there were rocks in there as well – but that is not me. I am the type of person that will look at the dirt thrown at me, observe it, see all sides to it, and then I put it down and move through it.

What I realized today? I am only making my foundation stronger by keeping that which is thrown at me, and applying it to my strength! The other person is losing their ground – I on the other hand am becoming empowered.

Today while I stood there with my therapist, I realized to choose what I know, I choose what I know over anger thrown back.

What I know today is that, I have the most amazing support in my life. support that helps me move through these hard moment. What I know is that I have a strong foundation that holds me and all my emotions. What I know is that I am a good writer, and my writing heals, and helps not only me, but others. What I know is, I am stronger than this, I have a powerful foundation.

What I know is, all the reasons stated in my blog yesterday {inside the 4 walls of therapy}.

What I know is what I trust. God will never abandon me. What is know is that I am loved, supported and cared for by my therapist, my friends, my family, god, the people of my church.

What I know is, I will not throw dirt back, I will take it, I will throw it down to the ground, I will push it into my already firm foundation and use it as more leverage in my healing!

It will take some work, but I can move through this – and what I have also learned is that, when I am hurt by someone, I come back 10 times stronger, even when it hurts.

“When you throw dirt, you lose ground” –  I will wash my hands of those not worthy of getting my hands dirty for ♥

3 comments

  1. “What I know is, I will not throw dirt back, I will take it, I will throw it down to the ground, I will push it into my already firm foundation and use it as more leverage in my healing!”

    I love this, this sense of empowerment! Ever since I met you, you have struck me as a woman keenly in-tune with her own inner environment, with her soul. I like to think of this blog as having “audacity”- when setbacks come, whether from our environment or from people you know, you have the “audacity” to hope and strive for growth. <3

  2. That is truly awesome! Good for you! May all that dirt raise you much higher than you ever thought you’d go!!

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