authenticity is {healing}

I walked into session today feeling strong, but then my authentic feelings showed up in a way that was real and present.

I sat with my therapist today as he held my hand the whole session; listening to the authenticity of my emotions, through connection in way I never thought I could speak before in session.

I was present, I was connected, I spoke, I felt, I reached out, I accepted support, I was true, I was honest, I was real, I was me and  I – WAS – HEALING!

Sometimes we need to let the true self out, before we can cover it with strength. It’s been a rough patch for me, but one that is truly coming together in the most amazing way that I never thought it could.

I have learned so much about who I am in this process. I have learned that when things get hard, you don’t have to go back to the familiar to make it feel the way it did; you try on new things that make it stronger and better in the connection, just as it is now with my therapist and the people around me.

I have learned that the distortion I felt in my work in therapy, forced me to see another side of my support that made the connection “stronger” and more authentic. This process has taught me that I can open up to anything I have inside, and I am met with support, love, care and connection.

This process has shown me that I am authentic in everything I do. The way I write, the way I heal, the way I connect, the way I have compassion, the way I pull strength out of a hat that I never knew I had.

While sitting in session today I looked down at my hands, and saw the connection from the hands of the person I have been working with for over 5 years – who holds my story and knows who I am. Nothing has changed except I am stronger, and our work is stronger, because of this process.

It didn’t feel good at first, but another thing I have learned is “you can’t get to the light if you dont see dark”.

I think this process has also allowed me to see another side to my healing that I never knew was there. The catalyst to this story brought my past to the forefront allowing me to see what those things were in the past that truly held me back today in my healing.

Like I said in my last blog entry, I have been told by many that something big is going to come from this rough patch I went through, and that big thing is, my healing, and my true self in my journey has been strengthen through trust, and “authenticity”.

When this happens in my healing, it also allows me to be stronger in my life outside of my healing, with the people who surround me everyday.

This is healing .. I am healing .. and that is a beautiful thing – authnetic and real — something no one can take from me no matter how hard “they” tried.

 

2 comments

  1. Karen (HUGS)

    It sounds like a movement in your healing.. I see clients who go through these tough times, and end up leaving, or not finding that way out.. and then I see clients who give it their all like you and move through it.

    You have come so far, and I love to see the growth.

    Good for you and your therapist for finding that movement. I am so glad things are turning around for you

    God Bless

    Hanna

    1. Hanna!!! thank you.. you have always lifted my spirits even higher!

      Yes there is movement, and yes my therapist and I have worked so hard to move me through this part of my healing, and I have to say, I see another side of things than I ever saw! we have stayed connected and right on top of that connection that was lost, and today things just changed all around.. I am truly blessed.

      He told me today that things change for a reason, and this change is why we make a GREAT team!!

      By the way Hanna, I talk about you all the time in session about my blogs.. you truly have been a great mentor as well :)

      Thank you again! hope your trip home was great!

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