ABOUT ME – MY STORY

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My name is Karen, Welcome to my blog to where I write to connect, write to heal, write to give myself the voice I never had – Now giving myself the voice I deserve!

I am an adult survivor of child sexual abuse! I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and today I am taking steps to heal from those wounds from my past. I have been in therapy for 13 1/2 years with the same therapist, Andy Dishman, and the journey has been both hard and amazing!

This blog is the place where my voice can raise to the truth of telling my story; to the healing journey it is today! This blog is my writing to connect with others who walk the same path as me.

The quote below pretty much sums up a small version of who I am as a survivor, and the quote reads:

“I am on a journey, with my work, my explorations, and a few sad stories. I travel with a suitcase full of outrageous blessings. I am on a quest for truth, beauty, a quiet joy. I am an artist, a writer, an explorer.”

I am on a journey, a journey to healing. A journey to find the real me behind the walls that were created around me in the sexual abuse that I endured as a child.

I am also a child of GOD.. God is the reason I walk this path and he gives me voice! I love God and all
that he does for me – he is my reason for being!

I am a mom of 3 beautiful boys ages 25, 22, and 19. I couldn’t ask for better kids. I have been blessed by God for 3 of the most amazing kids!

I am married 25 years (this year) to a wonderful man name Tim, who challenges me everyday to be a better person, and reminds me that I am truly loved regardless of my past. He doesn’t see the abuse I went through, he see’s the ME I am, and the healing I am working hard through every-day.

I am a photographer and have been into photography since I was 5 years old. I was a professional photographer for 15 years, but decided to turn my course to writing and taking photos for the love of it. I love capturing life through a lens. Photography allows me to capture life in the moment I want to capture it in – forever.

I am a writer! I have been writing as little as 4 years old. The moment I could hold a pen is when I began documenting feelings and thoughts. I have a passion for words, and learning how to fit words to how I feel inside. Writing has always been such a huge outlet for me.

I am working on writing my book, and my hopes it will take my healing to a whole new level. The name of my book will be “Alone in The Closet” and hopefully I can take a step back into finishing it in a year or so.

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I am an adult survivor of “Child Sexual Abuse” … I was abused as a child both physically and sexually by my older brothers for 8 years. My childhood was nothing short of living in fear and sadness everyday, and today I am finding ways to raise my voice and fight the demons of my past. I am fighting that fear and sadness, and giving myself the voice I never had through my writing.

For years and years I stayed in silence of the abuse I went through.  I got married, had kids, and it wasn’t until 11 1/2 years ago that I decided to let someone into the past I was holding so deep inside. I began my healing path in therapy 11 1/2 years ago.

The one thing I wanted in my life was to be a good mom to my children who would never endure what I endured. I love being a mom, I love being a wife, I love being a child of God, but I always knew that those things were not enough, I needed to get out from the wall that has been surrounding my past.

I was numb most of my childhood; numb to the daily sexual abuse I endured and today it’s about unlocking the child within and healing the child and freeing her into the adult world I am into today.

I am on a journey to heal, and hopefully my story will be told in every way possible to give myself voice and healing. This blog gives me that outlet to not only talking about what I go through on a day-to-day basis, but to connect with others who are on the same path.

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I have been in therapy for 13 1/2 years now. I have a wonderful therapist, Andy, and you will hear me talk about him quite often in this blog. He is the only person who knows my story in full detail. Without him I would have never uncovered the walls that were so high around me and the wounds I keep within.

I have an intense healing regimen.. I go to therapy 3 days a week. I work hard because I want a life without fear, without disconnection, without all that baggage that came along in the life of an abused child. I believe you get out of healing what you put into it, and I put all that I can give into my healing.

When I show up to therapy I work.. I try everyday to uncover the answers to WHO I AM without the abuse covering me. Its hard work, but its good work.

I have come a long way, and I love sharing my stories of my healing with others who also fight the same demons from the past.

I was diagnosed with CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) .. I fight the demons everyday, I just have more ammunition than I did 9 years ago.

I struggle to trust connection, but learning more and more the not everyone is out to hurt me. It’s taken a long time to get there, but I am there …. trusting a little more each day that goes along in my healing.

This is my journey to heal, and I love that I finally have a voice to speak truth!

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This blog is my therapy through writing. I write alongside the process of my healing. You will see me write about my therapy sessions, and the work I do outside of therapy. I will also write about things I am thinking about, thoughts I have, or to give myself voice to what this healing is really about.

I hope to be writing more now that I am focusing more on my writing, and my hope, it works along side of the healing I am doing in therapy. I often read my blogs in therapy to my therapist, so I feel it really helps the healing process.

I LOVE to connect with others who are on the same path, I would love to hear from you all, please feel free to write me an email, or even guest post about your experience with abuse from your past.

My life was nothing but scattered fear and today through my writing, I find ways everyday to heal through my voice to speak. This blog is my healing in real life, as I am taking the steps in my healing.