a celebration

photo Today was the day! I am officially a certified CASA (Court Appointment Child Advocate) and I am truly honored and in awe of this new role I am about to embark on.

I got sworn in by the judge in his chambers early this morning before we had to observe cases, and it was both intimidating and exciting at the same time!

The morning started at 6am as I got ready. I didn’t get much sleep as I was so nervous about the day. But the moment I woke I knew it would be an important day to me, and I needed to stay grounded and focused.

On my way to the courthouse my therapist called me and we talked for a few on my way up there. He gave me so much support! He is a great cheerleader and reminded me of how big this was, and how important I will be for this role. He told me how proud he was of me, and that he would see me later on in the day to not work, but to celebrate this big day for me.

I got to the courthouse and met up with my coordinator and director and we walked over to the courthouse together. I was nervous, but I looked forward to not only getting sworn in, but to see the cases going on and being right in the middle of the work.

When we got to the courtroom the judge called us back right away which was a surprise as we were told it would be done at the end of the cases. I got excited as my heart was beating so fast! I have worked hard for this, and I am proud to become a CASA.

We were led into the judges chambers and Judge Baker was really nice and genuine. He really made us feel at ease about our role and moving forward. I was then sworn in as a CASA and I was given my certification. It was painless compared to the work it took.

We then went back to the courtroom and we observed the cases going on this morning. There were about 9 cases we had to sit and take notes for. It was intimidating being around all the people who make this happen. The lawyers, The CASA’s, The guardian ad litem’s, and the DEFACS Case Workers, all there for the child.

The cases were over around lunch, and I talked to my coordinator about when I will get my cases, and it looks like I will be given cases as early as next week. I will get 1-2 cases per year.. 3 if I have slow cases.

After talking a while with my coordinator I then left to go to therapy session. I was looking forward to session. I was excited about going there to talk about the great experience and not just about the hard work I do.

I walked into session and my therapist ave me the biggest hug and pretty much squeeze the goop out of me in excitement. He was proud, he was excited, he knows how hard I worked on this. He really made me feel important. He really made me feel like I worthy of this and how important my role is going to be for these children I am going to be a CASA for.

My therapist has always been my cheerleader, and today he just really made me feel like I had done a good job and that felt good. It felt good to sit in session and really have a nice talk about my morning and how important it was.

I came home and my husband made me a wonderful dinner and a cake to DIE for! Chocolate cake with melted chocolate inside of it. He is such a sweetheart and has been so supportive of my work around this. My boys and my husband were very supportive.

I do have to say I was a little embarrassed and shy when my therapist showed his big excitement and kept saying how proud and excited he was for me. I have struggled with this my whole life. I never felt I amounted to anything and if I did do something big, I felt as if it was expected of me.

I think my therapist wanted to see me join in the excitement, but for me its hard to show it, because I don’t know how to show HUGE excitement about something I have done… but I am going to work on it. I am going to show up to session tomorrow and try to talk about the goodness of this and how I deserve this.

Inside I am truly honored and excited about this new path I am about to take. I am not only giving voice to a child in being a CASA, but I am also working hard in therapy giving my own young inner self voice and will continue to work down this healing path.

I am honored!

9 comments

  1. Congrtas! It’s not the end of your story, however what an amazing reference point. For all your really hard work and the suffering, you are using your life to impact a child , that would not other wise have a voice. I think you will do a wonderful job, your empathy and compassion will CHANGE a life course…lol
    Gentle Safe Hugs Ziggy

  2. Truely a day of celebration indeed. I’m proud of you and happy for this new role you will be playing. Others’ will surely benefit from your presence, understanding and wisdom.

    Don’t be too hard on yourself about being a bit quiet in your joy….There are a lot of different ways to experience and express joy, celebration and excitement. You are doing so great!!!

    1. thanks Gel … I appreciate your support and kind words! this is definitely a new step for me. maybe today I will find more space to be big around this very big thing :)

      thank you

  3. Karen,
    As a former criminal defense attorney, I commend you for doing what you are doing. Some of my favorite people in the system are CASA workers. There are children who will be better helped by you. I read your posts and see your humanity and more than anything your empathy.
    Congratulations
    JIm

    1. thank you so much Jim … that means a lot to me! I think CASA’s are so important and so glad to be a part of this.

  4. Hi Karen…. I have read a couple of your posts from well over a year ago and you really have come such a long way. You have evidently worked very hard and deserve every bit of this. The children you will be working with are extremely lucky to have someone like you on thier side.

    1. awwww Thanks Cat :) that means a lot to me! I can’t wait to get started. your comment made me smile.. everyone is so supportive

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