31 days of reflection {day 5} looking forward

edad7f6f8e9f9f460b47c7ffe83c0f44This is one of my favorite quotes “turn your face to the sun, and the shadows will fall behind you”

That quote holds so much meaning; especially at a time like now.Especially after a great connection Friday and over the weekend – I am ready for the week ahead.

I have decided to take a step back into the gym this week; the same gym that I trained in years ago when I lost all that weight and got healthy and fit.

I have been away from the gym for over a year now, since I began having some health issues and since I emotionally have been isolated from all the things I love to do.

I am going to make this week about looking forward and letting the shadows fall behind me, no matter how tempting it will be to look back on what feels safe.

Sometimes it’s hard to step out of the comfort place we put ourselves in when we are going through something hard. The gym used to my sanctuary before I faces some very hard things the past 2 years. I lived, breathed and slept the gym and working out, so taking this step this week to step back in the place that really made me whole physically is going to be a huge challenge forward.

There are also some things I am working hard on emotionally in sessions, on my healing path, and I am excited to see where this week brings me. My hope its filled with more connection, more accepting, more open to take scary big steps right in the middle of the vulnerability – where the healing happens – right in the middle of life’s challenges!

I sometimes fear taking steps forward. Steps forward feel vulnerable to what we are comfortable with in the hardness, yes in the hardness we do find comfort – not the comfort we want, but the comfort we know. I am afraid sometimes to take a step out of this year long isolation, because I am afraid that I will get hurt right in the middle of taking those steps, and then what? I don’t know if I can take another hit at my already vulnerable soft self.

So, with that being said, this week is going to be about taking one step at a time each day as it comes. I am sitting here Monday morning in front of my therapists office as I have session at 10am, and I am finishing up my blog that should have been posted yesterday.

I will walk in and share my steps that I would like to make forward with him… be open and true and accept the support through the week. That is my plan.. to take one small step back into the life I once knew before it got really hard.

What gives me hope is that, I can sit here and share this and know I am supported. Thank you for listening.

 

4 comments

  1. Karen I admire you for all the perseverance you have. I see a lot of love and strength in you.

    I’m excited that you have taken on these projects of writing and providing ways for writers to connect. I see that people are responding and you’ve had more interactions on your blog lately.

    I often think of “looking forward’ as a way to hook onto a star that I feel drawn to follow. The star might be God or a project that feels like the direction I need to be going in. Having a star to follow helps make it clear how to take next steps in that direction. That’s what comes up for me in this moment when I think of looking forward.

    Love to you….

    xxoo

    1. thank you gel :) the 31 day challenge and the Tuesday at ten is VERY challenging … I took on a huge commitment and I have to say it’s not easy … but writing is in my blood, so at least it’s something I love to do.

      I hope to see you do a Tuesday at Ten someday.. that would be great :)

      thank you for the nice comment

      love to you back

  2. You’re just amazing girl. I remember walking through those days of facing the hard stuff of my past so that I could come to the Me I am today. Healed and healthy, fearless and stronger, though that soft, vulnerable self still remains, as it should. I loved your words:
    “comfort in the hardness … not the comfort we want, but the comfort we know.”
    I so recognize this concept in my life, even today! I’ve become comfortable in our schedule of chemo and appointments, they’ve become the comfort in the hardness of this season. Well that is not the comfort I want … it’s the comfort of regular that I’ve come to know.
    Well that ends today … The Hubs is going to tell the doc no more chemo if the report comes back negative. We’re starting something new [my blog post ;)] today. I’m taking my comfort in God today.
    Blessings my friend.

    1. Thank you for your nice comment …. so sorry for your husband going through the hardness with chemo… I can’t imagine going through that. Im sorry you have to find comfort in that kind of schedule … But God is beside you every step of the way.

      Thank you for your truthful comment .. means a lot to me.

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