31 days of reflection {day 30} Leaving the familiar
*I am also using this as a part of the FMF prompt word : LEAVE*
Leave and let go of what you can’t change!? That is hard when you want something to change so much, but it doesn’t.
You realize and come to an understanding that in order for something to change, you have to be the one to make it happen and leave behind the wish and want for someone else to make that change.
Talking about my past and the pain I went through as a child has allowed me to leave a part of my past and come towards the new life I am meant to live; the new path that God has laid out for me.
It was hard going back into the past and not being able to change all that happened to me. I wanted to take myself out of that abuse and put me in a safer place, but what I realized was, I couldn’t change it!
However – I could change what was going on in how it effected me! I could change to not needing to understand why it happened because you can’t make sense of the senseless. I could change what I did about it inside of ME!
Right now I am in the deepest part of my healing! I Am finally right in the middle of my past and understanding it from a whole new perspective and instead of trying to change it, I am finding ways to leave behind what the past has kept from me going forward.
The more I heal, the more I am leaving my past where it belongs and not into the present of my life now. I am learning to detach myself from those old messages and learn new messages in place of them. Trying to find ways to not let the past come into my life, and having more control over what I know as truth today.
believe it or not, that is a scary scary thing, because I am leaving the familiar and stepping into a unfamiliar. It’s scary, its painful, but it’s healing more and more every day.
Instead of my past coming to me and interrupting my life, I am going to my past and healing it so that it can stay in the past and not become a part of me today.
This has been painful work, I have felt that pain the past couple of days that I have worked hard around this, but I know something is changing within me, I can feel it as I step into more truth and less giving into the lies that the past wants me to believe.
Healing is about leaving behind what is not mine to hold, scary, but empowering!
4 Comments
karrileea
October 30, 2014 at 10:49 PM
Amen, my friend! “Instead of my past coming to me and interrupting my life, I am going to my past and healing it so that it can stay in the past and not become a part of me today.” It IS scary, but empowering! So proud of you for doing the hard work of leaving… so you can lean in to the One who always stays!
Julie Lefebure
October 30, 2014 at 10:51 PM
Praying for you as you heal. What a powerful post! You give hope to many that healing can take place, and as you do, you leave the past where it belongs and embrace the future. If I could, I’d give you a hug right now! Next month I plan to go back and read your 31 posts! Great job in finishing strong! God bless you! So glad I followed you at FMF Party!
Anita Ojeda
October 30, 2014 at 11:25 PM
Amen! I’m so glad that you’re finding healing (but sorry that you have to work through all the pain and icky). May God continue to be with you on your journey. And congratulations for completing the #write31days challenge!
joanneviola
October 31, 2014 at 7:45 AM
Prayed for you before I left this comment. May I “leave” you with this Scripture…”So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18a, The Message) Blessings & a Hug to you!